Advice from three of our guy friends. This week a straight woman asks, “So what’s the deal with fake boobs — are straight guys into them or not? Does it make a difference whether they’re just looking (e.g. porn, strip club, Hollywood star) vs. touching (e.g. a hook-up)? And does it make a difference whether the hook-up is casual or relationship material?”
Gay Single Guy (Jay Dyckman): Here’s the thing about fake boobs. They work. It’s the same for gay guys. Just substitute silicone for steroids. I know plenty of guys who have gone from Plain Jane to Ripped Rita via syringe, and rollicked in all the dating perks that come with that. It is lame, they look ridiculous, but it truly, truly works. To be totally fair, though, the real equivalent would be penile implants, which are currently as effective as supergluing Play-doh around the member so it appears larger. And let me tell you, if they ever perfect the art of penile enhancement every guy you know will have an eleven-inch penis. Let me repeat: Every. Guy. You. Know. At that point, glance waist level in a locker room and it would look like something Tarzan used to traverse the jungle. Which is why it amazes — and inspires — me that every woman doesn’t have humungous breasts. You are the stronger sex. Like I said, if men were in that position, this would be a nation of Pamela Mandersons. (Oh, and indulge a gay guy: Why are “A-cup” boobs small and “D-cup” boobs big? Shouldn’t it be the reverse? As in, “Look at those grade A boobs! She’s stacked.” And flat girls are in danger of socially failing with a “D”? I mean, this is classic grading on a curve, right?)
Straight Single Guy (Tyler Barnett): As a 25-year-old, I have basically grown up surrounded by breast implants, so they don’t tend to faze me. I can recall on more than one occasion pointing out a beautiful girl, and hearing an older guy say “But she has fake boobs,” and I’m like, “So what?” To me, fake boobs usually look better than their natural counterpart (which is not to say I haven’t seen horrendous, overdone and very strange looking fake breasts). But admittedly, much like artificially flavored food, no matter how close to the original they get, the real thing always tastes better. Saline boobs tend to feel like water balloons, which can take away from the heat of the moment. I’ve felt silicone ones that were so close to the real thing it didn’t matter, but at the end of the day a soft real breast is as sexy as it gets — and I think most men would agree. Besides, bigger isn’t always better. While I appreciate a large set of melons as much as the next guy, I also think small breasts can be very sexy. Another concern is if my future wife could breastfeed. (Didn’t China just recall baby formula because it contained Melamine? No thank you.) Ultimately, though, men love breasts — big, small, real, fake, we usually are just happy to see them, feel them, sleep on them. The decision to get implants should be the woman’s without any outside influence. Whatever you decide, like the bra you wear, we men will support you.
Straight Married Guy (Jim): There’s definitely a difference between looking and touching. The only time I’ve ever (knowingly) handled fake breasts they felt like the knees of a Shaq-sized newborn: velvety-soft but concealing a hard, round mass. (That means they were cheap, right?) I have never heard my straight male friends say anything negative about the sight of fake boobs (or about the individual woman for having a surgically enhanced bust, for that matter), but displeasure has been expressed with the feel of stony fakes. Most men wouldn’t avoid a hook-up based on bust fakery, unless they’re reading into your personality through your bra. It’s still a hook-up, right? But as with anything else in the bedroom that can’t be changed through intimacy and patience alone, if it’s a turnoff for this theoretical guy, it might sink the relationship.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Straight Married Guy is Jim from New York, our Gay Guy is Jay Dyckman, an LA copywriter, and our Single Straight Guy is Tyler Barnett, owner of the LA PR firm Barnett Ellman. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
haha I have to say that even as someone with a flat stomach, nice ass and 34D bust size these comments have all made me pretty insecure! I take pride that I make my body look good the old fashioned way–I watch what I eat and exercise every day. But with so many females built like a stick getting boob jobs to become, well, a 34D, it starts to make me feel inadequate!
tip though to note “fakes”: implants actually aren’t placed right inside where normal breast tissue is–they are placed ABOVE. That’s where the natural “swoopy breast” comment from someone came in. I feel like breasts are only supposed to be somewhat THAT round if you are sexually excited and the blood is flowing to them. You’re taking away a natural biological sign that the girl you’re pleasuring is indeed enjoying herself.
and I’d like to hear from someone who has had implants for more than 10 years…these posts all seem from people who are still high off their “purchase”.
I do sort of understand if your breasts change dramatically after having kids…look the female gets the bum deal with her body in that one. But I once talked with a well-known plastic surgeon and she admitted that the surgery is usually NOT a one-time deal. And how do you explain your choice to your teenage daughter some day? Geez here the kid thought she’d be developing into a nice pair but her mom’s gonna be way more busty than the young 20-something year old!
I’ve never actually felt fake ones but I generally do not like how they look. To me it’s more about the shape of them then the size, and the nipples have a lot to do with it too 🙂
Stay away from the fake boobs, guys who are obsessed with big boobs are probably dumb anyway.
I have fake boobs and its the best thing i ever did….. for years i was very conscious of them…. hid them in big jumpers and was very self conscious…. then my daughter went thr puberty and guess what – she turned out to be bigger than me!!!! pissed off… what an embarrassment… i felt ripped off, so much so that at the age of 47 i thought this is it. After my implants I felt like a woman for the first time in my life… i went from a small B cups to a D cup!!!! now i dont feel embarrased anymore, i can wear bikinis and i feel NORMAL!!!! wish to god i had the money 10 years earlier – it took me years to save for implants and ive never looked back….. very HAPPY
I find breast implants very unatractive.i was only 18 years old when i first went to a strip club and i notice the difference between fake and real.real boobs are soft and fun to play with, fake are hard and funny looking.i am a truck driver and most of the other drivers and construction workers i talk to says they don’t like breast implants.real is better than fake.
I have implants and like Brenda said, getting implants was the best thing I ever did. I didn’t do it for a man or an image that I thought I needed to create to get a man – I did it b/c I wanted them and felt my body would be more proportionate with them. I researched the procedure and the implants to the n-th degree and got what I think is a really natural result (you can actually see a pic of them at my blog by clicking on my name in this post…). I have numerous people tell me that they would never know I have implants and the few men that have felt them have said they wouldn’t even know from feeling. I used to be very ANTI implants, but something changed in me at about age 30 and I’m now really glad I did it. I feel better about my body, I am more adventurous, more confident and have a lot more fun in bed and in life in general. It’s a big decision, but a very personal one that can have lots of benefits beyond filling out a bra.
I have fake boobs myself and it’s the best thing i’ve ever done. I always had awesome natural boobs (i was a 32C), but after breastfeeding 2 kids my breasts sagged so bad and they were hanging so low, it was almost linear:nipple – belly button – nipple… and i had to buy 34D bras to fit all the lose saggy skin… So i decided to go ahead and have breast implants, i had skin removed and i went again with size C, so now they look awesome and in place. (I felt like a national geographic magazine)… I can go without a bra with dresses and bikinis look amazing! My husband absolutely loves them and i never got them to be rock hard (you have to look out for fibrosis that’s what makes them rock hard)…. If i were to do it all over again i’d do it with my eyes closed… plus a lot of my friends had them one after finishing having kids.
Honestly, every time I hear a woman say about another, “Those are sooo fake!” The thought running through my head is So, whats your point?”
The girl I’m hopelessly in love with right now and think is amazingly sexy, however, is an A. Yup, thats right. She has incredible nipples though and she teases me sometimes that my boobz are bigger than hers… but shes quite tiny overall and she just looks perfect. Proportioned… If I were to buy her a set, they couldnt be bigger than a B or I probably wouldnt like em and she’d probably fall over.
Do we love to look at them? Yes.
Do we like to play with them, real or not? YES!!
But if you are confident in your own skin and properly proportioned.. It really doesnt matter.
Now if you are built like a pear, you probably do need to fix that either in the gym to reduce the back end or in the Doc’s office to increase the front end.. but if you are slim and slinky and not big.. then is your other ASSets that we are looking at and we are more likely to notice you if you play up your good parts, legs butt, stomach, confidence etc and not care if you arent huge up top.. I for one always think in the back of my mind that if youre too big now (DD’s) you might be fun right now but youll be a train wreck in oh say 6 years much less 20 and I would not be interested in a huge rack on someone I want to be with long term.
So really unless its your own hang up or your badly out of proportion… Dont bother, there is too high a likelihood of something going wrong and leaving you scarred, lumpy or otherwise worse off than you were to start with. Besides whats it say about your guy if he considers your breasts to be the deal breaker? What if you get breast cancer ten yrs into a marriage, with kids? Will he bail for some stripper with zepplins strapped to her under aged chest?
Big breasts are sexy when they are pushed up and making cleavage in a low cut something, but the naked reality is its the nipples that function and giant fatty sagging mounds with those gross visible blue veins dont have better nipples than even an A cupper’s mosquito bites…
Last word.. If you get them.. get the smallest enhancement that does the job. Aesthetically speaking more is NOT better in this department. Proportion proportion proportion… You want to look natural not like a comic vixen or hooker. If you do go huge, we WILL probably go to bed with you, LOL, but we sure wont ever introduce you to our families…
This makes me feel better. I barely have an A-cup and my boyfriend keeps telling me it makes no difference to him. Still though, i cant help but be a little envious of women who have good sized breasts. Of course, i also like the fact that im petite, which adds to my small breast size, and i never have to wear a bra. 🙂
Fakes are not attractive and most of them look fake and can be easily spotted. Natural is the way to go. Just the thought of touching what in essence is a bag filled with goo gives me that eww feeling. To me it would be a deal breaker for a relationship and kind of ruins a hook-up.
i cant stand fake boobs myself. even though i love booty more than boobs. when a female has fake boobs makes them look unattrative to me. i just love natural women
I dont like fake boobs I like women who always look like a women
in any age natural breast also look beautiful.
We like them when there Realistic and they are proprotionate to the frame of a woman they should still have the softness but Natural is always better cause you feel her and get a more of a original reaction when ( You Know )
I have had the privilege of dating girls with very large breasts as well as for he most part normal middle of the range size. The biggest turn on were small ones with very shapely sensitive nipples. The very large ones were a novelty at first but then I discovered they were always in the way and stopped many intimate positions and there is a limit to what you can do with them.
It is mainly the porn media that push “fake tits” as they are commonly referred to and it is a western world fetish based on making money by convincing insecure minded women that that is what men want. In addition, young immature men who view porn think that fake tits are normal because that is all they see. Correctly educated, most intelligent men and women do not like or want them.
I do not know any men who like them unless for reconstructive surgery after for instance a mastectomy. I thought the first two wise guys were talking typical unmitigated crap as media brainwashed people with little real knowledge of a “normal” woman’s anatomy function.
Any woman that lies on her back with tits standing up like two giant jellies is nether attractive nor appealing and most of the attention they get is the same as people rubber necking as they pass a car accident!
Please let us not succumb to the seductive adds of the cosmetic surgeons who will carve up any part of your body for money.
It seems to me that I read where even Pamela Anderson had her implants removed. (ouch.) I personally believe that boob jobs look unapealling,not to mention the risk of health problems,or a botched job,like the one that happened to a lady friend a few years ago. Natural is much better.Even if they seem small,they’re still very sexy,even more so. Viewing a pair peeking out from behind a loosly tied kimono,oh wow,what a hot image. Real men don’t want a woman to put themselves through something as needless as breast implants.
Reminds me of a line from a book a read very long ago, a take off on children’s abc rhymes>
B is for Breast, of which ladies have two
Once prized for their function, but now for the view.
Implants are all about appearance. As Susan Boyle shows, appearances are not everything, in fact can be very deceptive. There are health issues and pain and expense involved. A woman who gets them stikes me as either excessivly shallow, focused on HER appearance or so insecure that she is best avoided. There is a place for them, but only to address major problems, such as the loss of a breast through mastectomy.