We feel just awful that we can’t answer every single advice question we get, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, once a week, we’ll let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Help out this reader by posting your answers in the comments section below:
Dear Em & Lo,
I have a question that is something you could maybe open up to your readership: I hate the term “tittie-fuck.” Gah. Skin crawls just writing it. “Making love to one’s bosom” is just ridiculous. Could there possibly be another short-ish term to call this (fun for the fella) act that is neither so glib nor so formal as the former and latter, while retaining some semblance of sexiness? I can’t for the life of me think of one. Help?!?
— Lexically Challenged
Dear L.C.
We have no freakin’ idea — and we’re right there with you, the T.F. term makes our skin crawl. So, dear readers, help us out: What would you call it? Suggestions in the comments section, please…
— Em & Lo
The boob technique
always heard it called a “boob job”
I wouldn’t mind a nicer term for it either, thus far it’s been “you know that thing we did last time… with the… fucking, of the… boobs…? Can we do that again?”
A couple years ago, I came home from a bar really drunk and began to “seduce” my wife, who was already sleeping in bed. Despite my high level of inebriation, it was all going very well — she was slowly waking up and slowly urging me to continue … then more quickly asking me to continue … then desperately demanding I continue …
I started working my way up her body til I was astride her mid-section when, suddenly, mustering the ghost of every drink I’d had that night, proclaimed loudly, “I WANNA FUCK YER BOOBZ!”
Needless to say, I have never lived it down.
nipple nookie.
breast sex?
a mamerable experiance
In italy they call it “la spagnola” – the spanish (why oh why?).
Technically (cf Dan Savage) it’s a form of frottage. Yeah, I know; that doesn’t help all that much. [Note:spell check doesn’t recognize the word.]
Boobie boinking
Breasturbation?
In Britain it’s sometimes known as a “Bombay Roll”
What’s wrong with ‘Spanish’?
Isn’t the T. F. activity how you arrive at the classic “pearl necklace”?
Although I sort of enjoy “tittie-fuck” (I don’t know why)
There is always “boob-boning”!