We feel just awful that we can’t answer every single advice question we get, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, once a week, we’ll let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Help out this reader by posting your answers in the comments section below:
Dear Em & Lo,
I have a question that is something you could maybe open up to your readership: I hate the term “tittie-fuck.” Gah. Skin crawls just writing it. “Making love to one’s bosom” is just ridiculous. Could there possibly be another short-ish term to call this (fun for the fella) act that is neither so glib nor so formal as the former and latter, while retaining some semblance of sexiness? I can’t for the life of me think of one. Help?!?
— Lexically Challenged
Dear L.C.
We have no freakin’ idea — and we’re right there with you, the T.F. term makes our skin crawl. So, dear readers, help us out: What would you call it? Suggestions in the comments section, please…
— Em & Lo
I’ve always heard it called “boob love” or “chest love”.
In French, we call it “cravate de notaire” (“Notary’s Tie”).
“Collier de perles” (“Pearl Necklace”) is actually the act of ejaculating on a woman’s cleavage.
Hope this helps…
Shasta, I’ve often used it as a “this is taking so long – she can’t take it anymore” way to finish things off.
The bigger question is, “Do Guys Like this (whatever the term) and Why.” I had a guy try it once, but there never was enough friction, despite my C-cup. It turned out to be foreplay for him and we finished things off the old fashioned way.
Or is this a drunk/let’s try it once thing, as evidenced by Ben?
I have always heard it referred to as the “pearl necklace”…. although it might be a little old school, I have always found it tasteful 🙂
Grab em both, squeeze and stroke the sausage. hey titty F***, Lol.
Hmmm, I never had a problem with the term “Titty Fuck”. It sounds sexy and cute equally, fun! Lol, but if I had to think fo something else, that doesn’t sound weird like “Making love to one’s bosom” or the crude “T.F” then I’d probably reccomend, “Brast bone” with sounds more 8th grade biology, maybe, “Breast Boning” or “Mamory Massage”? (Which also, sounds more like an erotic massage, I give up!)
Deal with titty fuck, or don’t do it all!!
HAHAHAHHA
melon balling
that’s awesome
boobie boinking is one of my new favorite terms. and eh figleaf, I do consider it can be foreplay, or after you’ve had all the manual stimulation you wanted. no, I agree, this will never do as much for me as intercourse does, but not everything has to all the time.
LAWL MELON BALLING. that’s too hilarious Robbo.
also Julian: Bombay roll makes it sound sexy and exotic! like sushi!
Mellon balling?
Plowing the Valley
This is another one of those things where I must just be missing something. I’ve done it a couple of times but I think it’s another one of those things that sounds more exotic than it feels. For the man. Last I heard vigorous rubbing of the sternum does nothing all for the recipient. So I figure anyone who wants to do it better be willing to do express his gratitude than say “thanks.” Maybe something with a less Spanish-sounding, more Latin-sounding name. Like cunnilingus. 🙂
figleaf
I learned it to be “French Fucking” back in the day.
Hilary, we’re groaning. And Ben, that’s hilarious. Now we’re determined to find out why the Spanish are associated with this particular act…