About a week and a half ago, a reader responded to a post about the charming new term “hyena” being used to describe sexually aggressive teen girls:
Have they come up for a term for younger girls who date much older men, or even something besides cradle-robber, for older men who date younger women? I’d like a term for myself besides “baby cougar” because that implies that at 19 I date 12 year olds… and that’s just gross. [Btw. my boyfriend is 28, and I’m a vocab nerd so a new term would be AWESOME!]
Do you have any ideas? Something positive that suggests these women aren’t simply shallow gold diggers but may actually prefer the more mature company of guys who are older and wiser would be nice. Even better if it’s a term that could apply to both women and men who date older. And if you’ve got a replacement for “craddle robber” and “cougar” — again a kinder, gentler term that could apply to both men and women who like dating younger — let’s hear it! Leave your suggestions in the comments below or email them here.
I don’t wish to judge anyone by searching this topic. If you are older and wish to date younger people or vise versa that is your concern, however please avoid pointing fingers and classifying yourself as ” judged” when the very thing that lead you to this very website discussion, similarly, this topic is what lead everyone else to end up on this discussion. I’m not trying to label anyone, simply put my curiosity at ease. Since names like cougars, hyenas and baby cougars are present I was simply curious as to the classification of a young person having interest in older people. No judgment or accusations here, simply curiosity. In summary ….don’t get upset and preach not to judge anyone when your own judgement of people simarlar to you (if you like older people or young people or what ever) is what lead you to this very post. Good day.
I see nothing wrong with anyone dating whomever they want,and age should not be seen as a factor. If the two are in love, then let them stay that way. A true Love is difficult to find in this day and age so whether it be found in 24 year old lady dating a 61 year old man, like myself.
I’m a 23 year old white woman and I’m just saying, you let Benecio Del Toro show up at my front door and see what happens. Mmm!
Benicio is sexy
My husband and I met when I was 19 and he was 29. We have loved each other unconditionally since then. I cannot imagine my life with anyone else. We have two great kids and no, I am not a goldigger because if I was I wouldn’t be with him. We have been married over 4 years and we fall in love with each other more as time goes on. Age is nothing but a number. We never even think of it. My grandparents were happy until death and they were 14 years apart. My aunt and uncle are also 14 years apart and they have been happily married for 40 years.
Just read most of this and it seems that the younger man has seemed to have been insulted a bit because if you look at statistics there will allways be differences and changes …. not every young man is a buffoon who is unintelligent, laxadazical with little qualities that some how magically appear when their older? Not every old man is wise, understanding and caring? Today society as a whole has become very superficial and we have names for everything. This doesn’t make them derogatory or harsh they are just names for things just because you fit under the catagory of a name doesnt mean its wrong its just the situation. Also there are stages people go through in life mentally and physically which changes things but again they all happen at different times for each indiviual.
you all should stop living under the fear of a name or whether it is right or not because every situation that ever happens, has happened or is happening are different in their own way. Just because there is a name for the general situation doesnt make a difference.
My Husbands and I are 19 years apart, I am 45 he is 64. We have this ongoing saying in our relationship that I Love You For???
SEX, MULTIPLE ORGASMS, MONEY, HO– USE, CAR, Whatever, it really doesn’t matter because WE LOVE EACHOTHER UNCONDITIONALLY. We never look at ourselves as an AGE or a Number we just don’t care and we definatley do not care what others have to say because OPINIONS are like Assholes everybody has one not that we care but they are there ;).
So call us what you wish but it really doesn’t make a difference to us our life still goes on. I feel like I am Blessed to have him in my life for however long it is meant to be. It is what it is as some would say.
Old men don’t keep young women around for conversation.
A “trophy wife” before marriage was probably just “trophy”.
I AM 30 YRS OLD AND MY BOYFRIEND IS 58 YRS OLD…,I KNOW THAT WE HAVE A BIG AGE GAP BUT IT WAS NOT A HINDRANCE FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP,,I NEVER FELT ASHAMED WALKING WITH AN OLD MAN COZ I LOVE HIM,SO MUCH AND HE MEANT SO MUCH TO ME,,,,,HE SHOWED ME THE REAL “LOVE” I AM LONGING,,,,,,,,,INFACT,,HE MAKE ME FEEL COMPLETE!!!,,,,,,WE ARE TOTALLY HAPPY !!
I dated and married my husband who was almost 32 years older than I was. We had a WONDERFUL MARRIAGE that lasted 35 years. He passed away 7 years ago and I can’t even imagine dating someone else. Lots of people made remarks about us at the start of our relationship but we were very happy. Had a very fulfilling life together. I still love and miss him.
I’ve always been attracted to older men when i was single and younger- at least 5 to 10 years older than i am. But then after i divorced, i started dating and met this 35 year old guy, 10 years younger than i am. I was very hesitant at first, sometimes i still get bothered by my own conscience… what am i doin g with this young guy? However, i found out that younger guys have this level of energy. They’re a lot of fun. I went out with guys who are 5 to 7 years older than i am b ut they look so old, i dunno why. One time, i was having dinner with this older guy at 8 pm, he already started yawning saying it’s almost his bed time…. and there i was, trying to hurry with this dinner because i am going clubbing after that. There’s no really big deal on age difference. What matters most is you share the same interest and you are having fun.
Well, I am so glad to see I’m not the only one in this predicament. I am a 23 year old woman who LOVES THE OLDER MAN! They are more mature and have much wisdom to share. They also have had their time to play, so now (around age 35-40) should have their act together, and many do. I am a serious woman, with serious ambitions and goals in life. I have my act together and need someone in life who has the same. Although I may seem head strong about being with an older man, it is a double edged sword. Because I have never been married and have no children, I would like to one day have this opporunity. But, the issure comes to when you find someone older, most times they already have children, dont want children, or do want them, but lets face it, by the time you two do decide to have them, the man will be a senior citizen, close to 60 when your first kid is graduating from high school! This sucks. Oh well. But, really and truly the key to me is not age. Really, its not. Its not about the finding the person you can live with, but its about finding the perosn you cannot live without! Got to have that connection. Much luck to you younger women trying to find that great mature sexy go it together man, I have yet to find one who has the complete package…maybe some day! 🙂
Patricia, my sweet young sweet patootie…all the grownups in your life know your age. Anyone who can’t guess your age is too young for you. Mind, that’s not bad; you almost surely DO look 10 years younger than a woman your age would have looked 25 years ago, and since most children (i.e., people 10 years younger than you) have gotten the idea of what 57 looks like from old movies and TV they may guess wrong.
Those of us your age know what 57 looks like and like it a lot. But don’t kid yourself; we know. Even if we didn’t we can look at the back of your hands.
PS: I’ve noticed that conversation over these Intertube thingies filters out irony, so what I mean really is…you go, girl. Fifty is the new sexy.
But enjoy. Enjoy. Just keep a tad or reality by the bedside.
I am a 57 year old female who happens to adore younger men…at least 10 years younger but not more than 15. I know that nine out of ten of them do not take me seriously so now I am thinking about going a bit older. No one every guesses my true age…always guessing 10 years or more younger.
Very well put, Rei. If the principals involved are pleased with the arrangement, it really isn’t anyone else’s business. However, some of the issues that Marie brings up should also be kept in mind as well. If I understand her point correctly, the issue shouldn’t result in anybody condemning anybody else but the potential for an asymmetric or even exploitative dynamic shouldn’t be ignored either. At the end of the day, I’m inclined to put the whole topic in the category of “The heart has its reasons whereof reason knows nothing.”
There shouldn’t be a name, it will just be another made-up word for something to be made fun of. If you are with someone who is old enough to be your parent, and you are fine with that, that is what matters, you and your sig other’s happiness.