Guys Dish on What Makes a Woman Good in Bed (Their Answers Might Surprise You!)
by Rebecca Jane Stokes for YourTango

We asked a group of men to tell us what makes a woman good in bed. Is someone’s sex skill level a thing you can clock? Aside from a big ol’ orgasm, what to surprises and delights you in bed with the right partner?

These guys were maybe far too happy to answer these 4 questions with great detail. I’ll let them take it from here.

1. Okay men of the internet: First things first, do you think you can tell a woman is good in bed just by looking at her? Why? Why not?

  • “Not by looking at her, no. A lot of sex is in the brain. I suppose I could possibly pick up things I’m not conscious of, but not being conscious of them, I don’t think I can tell. If that makes sense.”
  • “No. Because I am very attractive, but horrible in bed.” A joker. We assume this serves him well.
  • “No. Sex is too much about feelings and reactions to know anything with just a look. That might be enough to establish attraction, but even that is so variable.”
  • Only one brave naysayer disagreed with the crowd, saying: “The way they dance is usually a good indicator.” If this is true, I have never been more deeply screwed.

2. Before you have sex with a woman, are there things she says or does that indicate to you she’ll rock in the sack? Dish.

  • This one was more of a mixed bag. “If a woman is very forward, if she shares my sexual interests, has sexual interests that interlock well with mine (I’m dom, she’s sub, for example), talks about sex in specific and knowledgeable language, there’s a good chance we’ll click well in bed. I don’t really think of people as being good or bad, just suited or unsuited for one another. That said, some people ARE just bad. It’s rare, but it happens.”
  • “No. There are things she can do or say that will increase my attraction, but attraction and performance are not tethered together.”
  • “If she knows how to flirt in a subtle way, if she was honest about her sexuality and her experiences, and if she has had a lot of partners.” Intriguing. I’ve slept with dudes who have slept with so many people and are just the worst at sex. I guess this is the concept of female promiscuity working to our advantage, ladies.
  • “If she’s teasing and flirtatious in conversation and there’s an ebb and flow to it, if she pays attention to how I react when and where she touches me ‘casually’, if she seems excited about me.” This dude gets it.

3. Is a kiss a good indicator of woman’s sexual prowess? Why or why not?

  • It turns out kissing doesn’t provide many clues either for the most part:”Experience in this regard is inconsistent; good kissers have been lousy in bed, terrible kissers have been fun, and sometimes a bad kisser is just uncomfortable with the whole deal.”
  • “Nope! One of my best lovers was a TERRIBLE kisser.”
  • “If she’s all tongue right away, or super-hesitant pecking, that’s a worrying red flag. But otherwise, like conversation, a nice rhythm of alternating passivity and playful aggression goes a long way. Shows she’s into it, and paying attention to what’s going on.” Meow!
  • Others disagreed: “In most cases yes, a good kisser usually has other skills to back up that kiss.”

4. Got a good sex story about a woman surprising you in bed you wanna share?

  • Boy did they: “This one time, I went to bed with a girl for the first time and after we were making out and I was teasing her long enough, she grabbed my dick and pulled it into her. I’ve never had anything like that. It was amazing and I still think about it often.”
  • “I was with a girl who was very forward about wanting to have sex with me and in talking about sex but when it came to actually hooking up she was suddenly full of a lot of uncomfortable self-consciousness and self-denial that kind of killed it.”
  • “I was having sex with a woman more experienced than I was, and things were going really well, and suddenly she said, ‘We should take a break.’ I was baffled! A break? Right in the middle of sex? So we took a break, had some water and a stretch, made out a bit, and then resumed more or less where we left off, and it turned out she was 100% right. That second half was amazing, and I felt far less worn out after it was all done.” Ladies, take note!
This article was originally published on YourTango: We Asked Men How They Know If A Women Is Good In Bed And … Whoa

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  1. Yeah! Just by her appearance or the way she looks and moves, I can spot up if she’s good in bed or not. 🙂

  2. I’ve gotta agree with 4.2 – the girl who turned out to be all talk.

    I’ve found just that, not only with sex but in general: when someone talks a big game there’s a slim chance they’re real hot shit, but a big chance they’re full of it and over-compensating for insecurity. The best lays of my life have been with women who were sexually modest, by which I mean they didn’t run their mouths about it or seek attention of a sexual nature. It’s always the quiet ones…

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