We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years. When we first got together we would have long conversations on the phone, getting to know one another and all, which included details about our pasts. To be quite honest, I had a pretty eventful past sexually and I am not proud of it.
Fast forward to about 8 months after we started dating: we moved in together and he discovered some old pictures that were stored in my Google drive album that I never thought to get rid of. The photos were of sexual partners. I was in no way attached to the photos, I just was single for a while before him and it had never crossed my mind to delete them because I never looked at them anyway. Needless to say, it caused a big argument and was a turning point in our relationship. He, at that point became obsessed with my past and has been having a hard time getting over it ever since.
Here we are almost 2 years from then, and he is still finding things to throw in my face about my past. I have removed myself from Facebook, because he felt I had too much history there and it was causing us to fight. I have to be very selective with what I say and do because I don’t want to trigger his memory.
Recently, he went snooping in my emails and found very old emails between myself and my friend. Many conversations told stories of our sexcapades. There were things revealed that I kept from him out of fear of judgment. So now his eyebrow is always raised. I just don’t want to be reminded of it any more. I have never been unfaithful to him or anything.
Over these past 2 years, I have tried not talking about it, I have tried giving him time to get over it, I have suggested therapy. I told him how it hurts my feelings when he jokes about it or brings it up. Other than this issue, we have a great relationship. I just don’t know what to do any more. I’m afraid to lose him over this. Please help.
— Not a Virgin, Not a Cheater
What can N.V.N.C. do?
Let her know in the comments below!