Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: Do guys check each other out in the locker room? Or what about at the urinal? Not necessarily in an attraction way, just in an “how do I measure up” kind of way?
Straight Married Guy (Fred): Nope. There’s an unspoken rule, at least among straight guys, that in the men’s room you look anywhere but at another man’s equipment. The straight male culture is so incredibly homophobic that the mere suggestion of potential homosexuality that comes from looking — even just for a split second, even accidentally — is what keeps straight guys eyes averted as if every penis were the Lost Arc. (I wonder what the protocol is for gay guys?) The only other John Thomases hetro men ever see is the elephant timber in porn, which doesn’t help at all, so if a guy just has to know how he measures in the real world up he’ll probably resort to asking a woman (and we all know how well that works).
Gay Single Guy (Daniel): Yes, guys check out other guys’ equipment — even if they are straight. This isn’t to say that straight guys actively and persistently look in order to compare one man’s anaconda to another man’s pretzel stick (though I am sure some do), but comparing is something that potentially happens on the sly and in one’s own head (a guy thinks to himself, “Well, he’s certainly bigger than me”). It’s not unlike women checking out each other’s breasts, except where women feel comfortable commenting on the differences (“Oh, you have such nice boobs” or “Her breasts aren’t that big but they’re perky”), straight guys cannot comment on another man’s wang without being thought of as a homo. Gay guys obviously don’t have that problem, so they’re free to talk — but when they do, it’s waaaaaaaaaay more sexualized. Hahaha!
Straight Single Guy (Mark): Not to put too fine a point on it, but…no, sorry. Nothing to do with attraction or even comparison — I guess it’s just an unspoken courtesy to give that modicum of privacy in an otherwise exposed situation. At the urinal, there’s simply the invisible line below which thou shalt not gaze, and in the shower, it’s pretty much the same understanding. So yeah, guys check each other out in the locker room probably about as often as girls actually have pillow fights in their underwear at slumber parties. But seriously, I suppose girls are more stereotypically body conscious and comparing-prone, so I’d imagine they’d be the ones more likely to check out what’s doing with their cohorts in that environment and see how they, um, stack up. But guys are utilitarian — we’re all business in the locker room. We want to empty our bladders, or shower up and get dressed again, and get out of there to carry on with our busy days of manliness [cue Tim Allen “Home Improvement” sound effect].
Our “guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Guy is one-time stripper and sex columnist Daniel; our Straight Single Guy is Mark Luczak, a tech geek at Carnegie Mellon University; and our straight married guy is shy. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
i do not think a guy staring at another guys penis makes him gay. i for one had friends who usually compare their penis sizes in the room of one when we pay him a visit. it is something natural because when comparing there was no excitement in any of us. Also we usually attend youth camps where we all use one room to have our bathe, in this case how would u avoid staring when people walk pass u naked.so in conclusion,when it comes to locker rooms or when on a camp or in a team, u can not help but stare because everybody is naked. but when in the men’s room, give the person next to you the privacy he wants.
Jeff, these guys’ “jobs” (ha ha, they’d laugh at that description, as we pay them only in love and gratitude and generous linking) is to give the first answer that comes to mind. Sometimes this is an experience, sometimes an opinion, sometimes a story… but it’s not intended to be a textbook by any means. The whole point of this feature is to present a collection of opinions to give readers a range of thought and to jump-start a discussion on this site.
We don’t even know what it means to give a “factual” answer to this question, unless someone were to conduct a massive-scale study of American men and hooked them up to a lie-detector test while they gave their answers…
i dont know how to say this. but you guys might want to replace those two straghts contributors
because as part of their jobs, they are supposed to give facts, not opinions ( which is exactly what they gave here).
if they have hang up about this type of thing.it is their choice ( but i always think it is a bit sad that straight guys are so insecure with their masculinity that they would deny anything that associate them with being gay).
i mean if you are not gay, so what is the problem.
but if that is their choice, then so be it.
but they have no right to do this when they are asked to give facts.
^ Yes, it matters. It’s way too universal a preoccupation to not matter.
Does it matter? Studies show that a longer non erect penis will grow less when erect than a shorter one.
Every man tries to avoid it in fear of appearing or being “gay”. Every man wants to get a quick look. And most men look either by accident or quickly get a glimpse before the guy notices.
Every guy that says they do not look, that its some unwritten rule, is a liar. If there is a naked guy in the locker room your going to look. Of course you don’t stare, but come’on – our penis is the most important part of our body, and so when the rare opportunity arises (no pun intended) to see another man’s penis, you take a glance and you take mental note. Why is it that everyone in my high school knew who Frank “Footer” was? It’s not because we were all talking about him openly or that every guy in school was gay. It’s because someone had the guts to nickname him and immediately everyone knew who he was talking about – because EVERYONE looks.
They’re just penises people-GET REAL! Who cares is you see or look at another person’s genitalia-MY GOD! We all have bits whether they’re female or male-who the f*ck cares? It doesn’t make you gay, straight or bi or whatever. LMFAO
Christ, but it is amazing how afraid some men are of their sexuality. All men will check another guy out. If he says he doesn’t, he’s lying. It’s no big deal and is only a normal part of sexual curiosity.
I’m as straight as they come and happily married, with a good sex life with my wife. I have, on occasion had sex play with another man my entire life. No, I am not gay and just hiding in the closet. No, I am not bi. I’m straight. I cannot be romantically attracted to a man, though I can enjoy a little sex play with one. I’m not alone. Research is proving that sexuality is fluid and that the labels we use are meaningless. The terms gay, straight and bi only allow us to pigeon-hole ourselves to give us a sense of belonging.
So I know that guys check me out whenever they can. I know that some of them are very uncomfortable with doing it too. And I know that many of them go home and masturbate to the fantasy image of my penis. But they will swear that they would never do such a thing. I consider this a sign of sexual immaturity.
I am straight and in my 30s, and single. I socialize with some couples I have been friendly with since high school. Everyone in the group know I am nicknamed “rope” by the guys in our group. So obviously some straight men have checked it out.
You can’t help but see penises in the locker room or showers. You just don’t stare. I am a coach. The youngest coach in our locker room is very shy about undressing in front of others. The oldest one, in his 50s, will strip bottomless in a heartbeat. Another in his 40s showed us all his hernia surgery, nude, and was complaining they totally shaved him from waist to knees and showed us the resulting rash. He only had his tackle out briely and held his hand in front of it after showing the scar. Not a big deal. And from being a reservist, the young guys are obvious and draw laughter for their extreme modesty. But a buddy of mine is shy about it because he shaves and doesn’t want razzed. He speculates that’s why many young men cover up–to hide shaved or cropped pubic hair.
All baby boys should be circumsized period! Its cleaner, less prone to infection and uncut men, there’s been a medical study uncut men cause cervical cancer in women. A deadly disease that usually women don’t know they have until its diagnosed too late!
Europeans, and guy from Norway are backward thinkers; they all think they know more than North Americans NOT – we in North America live in the New World, Not the Old World as in Europe!!! Why else did people emmigrate to America i.e. US and or Canada!!!
My son and I usually go together for swimming or to public bathroons while traveling. There is nothing to share or discover. That´s human nature, if you know that maybe you´ll have some natural and healthy curiosity to watch others from a natural point of view. So please, do not misunderstood personal intentions from nature, ok.
I’ve always felt uncomfortable about exposing even a small part of my genitals in public – i.e. at the gent’s urinal. Yep, “its a given” that men “simply look at the wall” when at public urinals, we don’t acknowledge each other etc… If I’m with some mates, we do talk..
I remember 10 years ago, in a Mens changing room, I desperately tried to avoid showing my “tackle”. An older guy was trying to do the same.. when another man, with his 2 young sons changing without any embarassement said “we’re all made the same”… He was right – we drew more attention to ourselves by trying not to “expose our genitals” than other men in the changing room who didn’t give a damn…
Sometimes us straight guys do it to size up the other guys. Im not gay, some times I used to think I was but Im not. We all have male and female genes in our bodies and they are fighting for control of your body. When you lose your testosterone you start feeling girly. If your straight and worried, just stop drinking sodas and eating unhealthy. Start supplementing some testosterone and you’ll be a man again.
In access to what “pontypool” says, really wake the “f**K” up! I’m a straight man in a relationship for over three years, and seriously what the hell is with all of this?
I love the ridiculous fact that when one man looks at another mans privates he might be “gay”. Come on already. It’s just an appendage, not “Pandora’s Box” for heavens sake. And just in case your wondering, I’m an artist, I see plenty of people both male and female nude. That’s the secret, “nude” not naked…
I love those paranoid guys at the gym, who struggle to put their shorts on under their towel. “OH my god now you’ve seen my penis, you must be gay! And now that I’ve seen you seeing my penis “I” must be gay! Oh how will I survive?”
Grow up! So all men in the military are gay?
And all men on the football team are gay? And so on, and and so on…
You really can’t look at someone else and say “Wow, that’s a short dick” or “that’s a big set of nuts” and just leave it at that?
Really, how senseless are you?
If you don’t like it, don’t look. But it won’t make you blind or “gay” if you do, it’s just common sense.