Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: “What’s the deal with manscaping? We’re talking both genitals and chests.”
Straight Single Guy (L.A. Chris): I think it’s great that men have taken an interest in personal grooming. Where’s the downside of shearing a chest rug or bisecting a unibrow? And it’s every man’s secret that shaving your pubes makes you look bigger. Of course, like anything, preening can be taken to comical extremes (think tweezed eyebrows, hair stencils, and fake orange tans). But if you look at advertising and celebrities, male models are intricately manscaped, so that’s where a lot of it comes from. Ultimately I think it’s a fad: in another 10 years, bushy pubes, woolly chest hair, and thick mustaches will be all the rage.
Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter, because manscaping is, for all intents and purposes, dead. Gay men are manscaping less and less each year, which means that in a few years straight men are going to be manscaping less and less each year, and then our national nightmare will be over.
Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): Great question! It’s a great irony to me that, at least in Western Civilization, we don’t think anything of the original “manscaping” — men who shave their faces. For instance, you never hear debates about how shaving makes grown men look “prepubescent” even though technically that’s exactly what it actually does. As for the recent trend in straight men trimming or shaving pubic hair, I think you could make a case that it’s driven, at least a little bit, by the same things that drive women to do so: porn and advertising. The two come together in a recent razor manufacturer’s ad campaign with shaved kiwi fruit and hints about the “optical inch” of penis length that comes from trimming away an inch of pubic hair.
There’s also the point that it just feels nicer being kissed on bare skin than on hair…and, for many partners, it feels nicer kissing bare skin than hair. As for men grooming hair on the rest of the body, I think there are two big reasons. First, because it makes us look younger. Not so much “prepubescent” but, since body hair increases with age, not middle-aged or older. Second, because when it’s long it can be itchy both to ourselves and to our partners. Of course the other side of all that is first that a lot of women and/or men think body hair on men is very sexy, and second that stubble can be even pricklier than if we left well enough alone.
Our “wise guys” are a rotating group of contributors, some of whom wish to remain anonymous and some of whom like the attention. This week’s Gay Engaged Guy is Joel Derfner, author of Swish, and our Straight Married Guy is Figleaf, the guy behind RealAdultSex.com. To ask the guys your own question, click here.
never grew hair said: “i have never grown my pubic hair, and i always thought men didn’t like women with hair down there, its not only gross, but also filthy” How OLD are you? Honey, grow up. “Down there?” Really? It is referred to as the Public Region. The Pubus Mound. Or the Mound. Or the Pussy. Or the Yoni. Or “the Furry Taco” NOT, “Down There.”
There is really nothing “filthy” about public hair, anymore than there is anything “filthy” about hair on your head, on your eye lashes, your eyebrows, your arms, or anywhere else. Do you bathe daily? Then your pubic hair will be as clean or “filthy” as the rest of you.
Also, MANY men enjoy a little or a LOT of pubic hair. (Entire porn studios are focused on “Hairy women.” To each his own…..) And up until only about 5 or 6 years ago, even most porn stars were “au natural” in the pubic hair department. Even the Landing Strip didn’t become popular until less than 10 year ago.
My man doesn’t ‘scape” trim or shave. I really couldn’t care less. I’m a grown woman and public hair makes him look like a man. Hairy balls? So what? It’s cute. I would never ask him to do something he wasn’t comfortable with, I really don’t care, and it has actually never occurred to him to even try it. (In fact, it actually never occurred to ME, that men would even think to trim or shave until just seeing some newer porn in the last few months.)
I trim, and shave about half way through the top of my Mound, and, of course the inside curve of my leg, especially in the summer. But, honestly, he couldn’t care less. “Why do you bother to do that?” he asked me, while we were in the bath together a while ago.
We’re “older” and when we were growing up and learning how to have sex (and calling things what they are) NOBODY but a few prostitutes and strippers shaved their pubes. And strippers and prostitutes ONLY trimmed up. A woman without pubic hair in the 60s, 70s or even 80s would be considered an anomaly. My Man considers it “akin to having sex with a child” to have sex with a completely BALD woman.
“never grew hair” I would get an appointment with your OBGYN, asap. Not growing pubic hair can signal a very serious hormonal problem or thyroid insufficiency. It is NOT normal to not grow hair where adults are supposed to grow it.
Some people have more of it, or less of it, but if you have grown NONE and you are finished with puberty, I’d make an appointment, to make sure your plumbing and other internal organs are in order. Most girls start growing pubic hair between 8 and 11 years old, and have full growth around the time they menstruate, usually between 11 and 15. It is considered a necessary precursor to proper sexual organ development, proper SEXUAL development and maturity and sexual organ function and if it didn’t happen, there could be something seriously WRONG.
I stopped giving my ex bjs because I was tired of all the hair down there getting in my mouth. I’m expected to trim so why shouldn’t men? Most guys don’t want a natural bush on a girl so why should I deal with one on a guy? My current bf trims down there, so I give him a bj pretty much anytime he wants. So guys, trim, but leave some hair. No hair at all’s freaky.
by the way are there men who like it trimmed on women and not shaved all the way?
Yes. Not only that, there are even men who prefer it in its natural state. Shocking, I know, that there would be a diversity of opinions among men.
And it’s not filthy. It’s about as clean or dirty as the rest of your body depending on when you last showered and what you’ve been up to in the interim.
I agree totally. But if he forgets to shave a time or it wont b a big deal.
I like it when my man keeps things trimmed up above and LOVE it when he shaves his sac. He loves the sensation of all the sucking and tongue play on that bare skin and I appreciate no hairs on the back of my tongue.
While as a female I do a lot of “grooming” down there, I think it’s to each his/her own…but I have to say I actually LOVE kissing a man with stubble (I’ll deal with the chafed face later…) It makes the kiss that much more masculine.
i have never grown my pubic hair, and i always thought men didn’t like women with hair down there, its not only gross, but also filthy, and my partner likes it just like that…
by the way are there men who like it trimmed on women and not shaved all the way?
as far men are concerned, totally bare skin, would be weird, but ya,hair should be trimmed(i think so) i think that looks jus fine
I like groomed, not shaved, too. I mean, hair too long looks… awkward to me. But then again, so does bare skin with those weird black dots that pretty much scream “Hair should be here!”. And while I personally don’t MIND shaving down there, my guy just prefers it short rather than shaved, so that’s what I do.
And as for armpits, honestly, I think shaved armpits look feminine rather than prepubescent. I realize that sounds weird but that is just how I see it. I think it is GROSS when men shave their pits.
Johnny, do you insist on your partners actually taking it all off or are you okay with it being short/groomed? Nothing against you if you do, I fully believe this is a preference thing, I just wasn’t clear on what you meant.
True, it doesn’t work the other way around. Women seem not to like shaved men.
Assuming that I should lead by example and do that which I appreciate from others, I once shaved off all my pubes. A girl told me it was weird. Thinking it was maybe just her, I kept it up. Next girl told me that was weird too. So I grew it out a little bit, but kept it very very short. Another girl told me THAT was also weird.
So now I just do a scissor trim. No complaints. And even if there were, too bad. I don’t like how I look with a big hairy man-bush.
No, figleaf, I personally don’t think so.
However, anyone man with a fully shaved groin, I feel weird looking at. It does look pre-pubescent, and highly unnatural considering I’m used to hair being down there. Also, I shaved ONCE to appease a man, and I hated the way I looked. It was really uncomfortable and made me wonder about that guy’s secret fantasies. I keep myself well groomed, as in trimed and bikini-line shaved, and I expect to have the same courtesy extended to me sans shaved bikini-line.
Rhetorical but gender-neutral question: does shaving armpits make everyone who does it look pre-pubescent?
–fl
I personally like groomed, not shaven. I would never make my boyfriend shave, he’s my hairy Italian, and that’s they way he’s been since we met, so why would I make him change. I have seen on at least 4 other sites women and men say that us hairy people are disgusting somewhere between 60 comments and on average only 3 supporting hair. Younger generations have been bred to hate hair in all it’s forms and have been taught to hate others with it. I have seen women and men say they would not sleep with anyone with hair at all on their genitalia and that they have in the past coerced partners into grooming or waxing off all together. Wow, what a great thing for one’s sex life.
There’s nothing more off-putting to me than a guy taking his pants off and there’s no visible hair. Yes, it’s nice to avoid the hair in the back of the throat occurrence, but not at the cost of seeing a bare naked penis. There is quite a bit of conversation among my peers (middle-aged women) about the pre-pubescent look for men…it’s as ridiculous as it is when women do it.
I dunno, the gf likes the sensation/taste of the groomed man-pubes. I think for some it is going to be less about the aesthetics or fashion models.
I also agree with Johnny…grown women who manage their pubic hair well.
“…you never hear debates about how shaving makes grown men look “prepubescent”…”
Oooo… great point. I get so sick of hearing that. No, I don’t like little girls. I like grown women who manage their pubic hair. Is that so hard to understand?