Your Call: How Do I Tell Him I Don’t Like His Weight Gain?

photo via IMDB

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader.  

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Dear Em & Lo,

My husband and I have been together ten years, and over the last few years he has gradually put on about twenty pounds. He jokes about it, but he doesn’t seem to be bothered by the weight gain — he just seems to think it’s normal for a guy his age (44) to get thick around the middle. And it’s true, most of his friends have spread in the same way. But I miss the guy I fell in love with! I’m still in love with him, but I’m not quite as attracted to him as I once was, and I worry what this will do to my sex drive as the years go on.

Can I say anything to him? And if so, what do I say and how do I say it?!

— C(hubby) Chaser

What should C.C. do? Leave your advice in the comments section below.



  1. And try reading some Shakespeare or Tennessee Williams.
    “Nothing human disgusts me, unless it is cruel or violent”.
    Tennessee Williams

    Again, shame on you Em and Lo. You have made the world a pinch more cruel and a dash more ugly.

  2. Leave this site. I cannot believe the level of cruelty and stupidity that Em & Lo spit out in their bile filled , subhuman articles. Do you really want answers from these 10 year old bullies?! Ask a friend or loved one. I stumbled on an article in which a sweet, young and lonely girl desperately sought help in regard to finding a true love. She was dismissed with such cruelty and inane quotes from bad movies. These so called writers are vicious children hiding behind a computer. Use your brain and search your heart. Do not ask these soulless dolts. Shame on you Em and Lo. Try finding a soul and be kind, as it costs you nothing.

  3. How would you want him to bring this up if you were the one who had gained twenty pounds?

    Be kind and honest.

    Some people might recommend not bringing this up at all – his humor may be a way of masking his discomfort with having gained weight (and its resultant ego blow). He may be trying to lose weight as best he knows how. Or maybe not.

    Another option would be to discuss ways that you want to be healthier overall and ask him if he’s interested in joining you.

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