Fantasy
Dear Em & Lo
Should I Be Concerned About My Rape Fantasies?

Dear Em & Lo, I’m writing to ask you about your opinion of rape fantasies. I’ve been in a serious and loving relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years now. It’s a very egalitarian, loving, supportive and comfortable relationship. Yet both my boyfriend and I immensely enjoy acting out rape fantasies. We enjoy having […]

Do It Tonight
Take the Long Way Home to Your Orgasm

Most people have that one, fail-safe way that gets them from point A to point O quickly and directly, scenic lookout points be damned! And when you’re busy or tired (read: every minute of every day), it’s easy (and understandable) to resort to that surefire orgasm route on the rare occasion you do get around […]

How To
5 Things You CAN’T Change About Sex

Did you know that the Serenity Prayer can be applied to your sex life? (“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”) Well, here are the 5 things you can’t change about sex — accepting this list […]

How To
3 Easy(ish) Steps to Sharing a Fantasy with a Partner

Sharing a fantasy with a partner can be a cheap and easy way to foster intimacy, build trust, and kink things up. But it takes a lot of courage to do. What if you think yours is too mundane to put into words (remember Meg Ryan’s faceless stranger fantasy in When Harry Met Sally?). Or what […]

Do It Tonight
Do It Tonight: Blindfold Your Partner (Or Yourself)

The blindfolds that comes free with transatlantic flights are sometimes printed with the phrase “forty winks” — and we think we know what kind of winks they’re talking about. Who hasn’t stuffed a complimentary blindfold into their carry-on and thought, “Ooh, I should use that sometime”? But, really, you should. You can go high-end with […]

How To
How to Cultivate a Sexual Fantasy

If you don’t have a favorite sexual fantasy, then you haven’t spent enough time dirty–day dreaming. Inspiration surrounds you — you just have to seek it out. Browse a sex toy shop, in person or online, for some new gadgets, accessories, videos, or books. Kinky erotica like Anne Rice’s The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty or […]

How To
In Honor of National Orgasm Day, 7 Simple Things You Can Do To Improve Yours!

July 31st is National Orgasm Day! While orgasms are like apples — one a day will keep the doctor away — it’s still nice to have one day of the year dedicated to their celebration. Especially if you’re not getting them as often as you’d like or as often as you should be. (Maybe it […]

How To
The 10 Best Couples Costumes to Repurpose for Roleplaying

What is forbidden in the real world can sometimes make for a fun romp between consenting adults (who’ve explicitly outlined their boundaries and agreed on a safe word). It’s called roleplaying, and there are two components that can really help you get into character: 1) the right outfits, and 2) a backstory with emotional tension, […]

Polls
Poll: What’s Your Favorite Fantasy?

There are popular themes that come up again and again in people’s fantasies. We’re curious if they figure in your dirty thoughts. We created two polls, one for ladies and, below that, one for men. If your favorite fantasy isn’t listed here, let us know what it is in the comments below! Check back later […]

Confessions
Why You Shouldn’t Freak Out About That Incest Fantasy

Reader Jace shared the following advice in response to our post, “Dream Interpretation: OMG I Slept with My Mom!” Just to place this out there for people who feel ashamed, incestuous fantasies while awake aren’t intrinsically bad either; the reason for their occurrences can be just like the dreams, except you have control. What you’ll […]

Confessions
Is It “Rapey” to Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?

Reader Jo said the following in response to our post, “Wise Guys: How Often Do Men Think of Someone Else During Sex?” For the record, not all Comments of the Week are opinions we agree with. And in this case in particular, we definitely don’t agree with the idea that fantasizing about someone else during […]

Wise Guys
Why Guys Are So Obsessed with the Twin Thing

Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: What’s the deal with fantasizing about twins? (Coors Lite twins, Hef’s twins, etc.) How come the whole implied incest thing — a.k.a. “Twincest,” thanks, Gone Girl! — isn’t a turn-off? Straight Single Guy (Colin): I think, for some men, having a set of […]

How To
How to Make Your Ravishment Fantasy Come True

There is perhaps no sexual fantasy that disturbs people more than the rape fantasy.  Even people in committed, loving relationships who have successfully navigated such a fantasy with massive amounts of communication and trust can feel weird about it. Readers often ask us, “What’s wrong with me that I’m into this?” Well, as we have […]

Wise Guys
Wise Guys: What Do Men Think About When They Masturbate?

photo via flickr Advice from three of our guy friends. A while back, one woman wanted to know “Why do men masturbate in relationships, even when the sex is good and regular?” In his response, Max (one of our Single Straight Guys) said, “Trust me: You don’t want to do the things that we’re thinking […]

How To
5 Reasons to Wear Lingerie (Especially If You’re Not the Type)

LELO’s Halter Camisole (on sale now for half off) We are not ones to put more undue pressure on women (or men for that matter, though they could use some more time in high heels) to live up to some unrealistic ideal of style and beauty. If you’re comfortable in an old worn oversized cotton […]

Confessions
The Risks of Making Your Cuckold Fantasy a Reality

Reader Dave posted the following cautionary tale in response to our post, “Your Call: I Want My Wife to Have an Affair; She Thinks I’m Nuts”: I think you need to tread very carefully here… just to give you my experience… My wife and I often talked about her being with another guy while we […]