Dear Em & Lo: I Like Doggy in Theory, But Not in Practice

Dear Em & Lo,

I’ve always found “doggy style” sex to be naughty and hot visually. A lot of my fantasies include my boyfriend and I having sex in this position. However, when we actually try “from behind” tactics, I feel like I have to pee. I think this might be an indication that G-spot stimulation is a bad idea for me, but I would really like to find a from-behind position that is both comfortable and hot.

Your loyal reader,

Dear Lassie,

Actually, G-spot stimulation done right WILL make you feel like you have to pee. That’s because the G-spot is actually the spongy tissue known as the female prostate, which surrounds the urethra (you stimulate it through the front, i.e. upper wall of the vagina). Many women are so freaked out at the idea of accidentally peeing in bed that they discontinue any prolonged G-spot stimulation, even though some of them might find that if they stick with it, it could lead to orgasm or even female ejaculation out the urethra (which is NOT pee, but a fluid that is produced from the glands embedded in the female prostate). Just pee right beforehand to be sure that the sensation is from G-spot stimulation and not the entire bottle of Evian you just drank.

But some women just don’t like that feeling, and it has nothing to do with fear of wetting the bed. Some would be happy to piss all over their boyfriend if it meant amazing orgasms, but they just find G-spot stimulation either annoying or even downright uncomfortable. If you fall into this category, you’ll just have to experiment with different positions that stay away from your G-spot–everybody’s bodies are different, so what hits your G-spot may not hit another’s.

Instead of the standard on-hands-and-knees doggy style, which usually angles your vaginal canal so his penis is bound to hit that front wall, try lying down flat on your stomach and legs so he’s gliding along that front wall rather than banging right into it. Or, better yet, get your butt up high and your shoulders down low so he’s more inclined to hit the back wall of the canal (though this may just mean the bottom of his penis brushes against your G-spot rather than his head). He can try holding his penis at the base and tilting it away from your G-spot as he moves inside you. Or you can even reach down between your legs and gently press up on the shaft as it goes in and out to help keep it off your G-spot (lots of lube and super short fingernails work best with this move).

Good luck keeping it naughty and nice,
Em & Lo


  1. My GF and I have an unwritten agreement as to how the sexual escapade for night will end up of course we kiss and try a bunch of different positions but she has told me that she wants to be a$$ up shoulders down moaning my name because doggy style works for her. In fact most times thats our finishing move. It hits me in all the right spots and she has declared to me that her jaw dropping orgasms can only be reached by doggy style. She has on occasion ejaculated from doggy style. So to those who say maybe it should stay a fantasie for you YOU’RE NOT DOING IT RIGHT THIS IS THE BEST POSITION EVER PERIOD. I know what I said is a generalization but it works for us and most of my exes agree too. Try it differant ways till you find one that works for you. Try putting your legs together for more friction or maybe way apart for deeper penetration. Ass way up and shoulders almost flat against whatever surface your on seems to work best for us. I’ve tried laying down on her back so my chest is on her back and that produces the want to pee sensation. It goes away when I am kneeling or standing straight up. This position is so much fun please don’t give up on it. Its not hurting right so keep trying till you find something that works for you. My GF and I are huge fans of the position and recommend it to you. Plus once you get used to vaginal penetration you can always try some back door loving which my GF is also a huge fan of.
    Just keep experimenting with it you’ll figure it out. It’s so much fun don’t give up so quick.

  2. Sometimes there are just things that make good fantasies, but aren’t as great in practice. Maybe the answer is to enjoy your fantasies as fantasies, but mostly have sex in other positions.

  3. I’ve read that our brain may interpret G-spot stimulation as feeling like wanting to pee as that is the nearest thing to the feeling and it comes from the same area. The theory goes that you just need to learn to tell the difference and enjoy the feeling. I suggest laying on your sides and using a vibrator on your clitoris at the same time. You can vary the angle of entry if its uncomfortable. Also good position if you are less athletic. I’ve found a lot of practice might be required before getting something right. Good luck and keep trying! 🙂

  4. You know, I kind of feel the same way. It’s hot in theory, but it practice, it’s just not the most comfortable position for me.

Comments are closed.