Your Call: Can He Skip the Couples Costume This Halloween?

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader.  

Dear Em & Lo,

My girlfriend wants to do a couple’s costume for Halloween this year. I don’t. I think it’s cheesy and annoying. But I know how happy it would make her. Still, I really don’t want to. Can I stand my ground or am I just being a jerk, especially if I’m going to dress up anyway?

— A Reluctant Clyde to Her Bonnie

What should ARCTHB do?
Leave your advice in the comments below.



  1. You really had us going there for a second, Dave! So glad this falls into the category of good problems to have. Thanks for being a regular!
    Em & Lo

  2. Dear Em & Lo,
    I have a serious problem with your website.

    Almost every time I read something on your website and want to comment on it, I find that someone else has already said nearly exactly the right thing and in a more elegant fashion than I probably could.

    I really enjoy reading the witty and intelligent things your readers have to say but it makes we feel less special when your readers get it right before I can post anything most of the time.

    I guess this is the cost of hanging out with cool/smart people.

  3. To me it would come down to the type of woman your gf is. Is she generally cool? Doesn’t bust your balls too much? Not really a nagging, pushy type? Generally nice chick who keeps you happy? Ok, then she just thinks it would be fun to dress up together. Roll your eyes and do it just to make her smile.

    … or is she a demanding, controlling type? Is she going to be a child about it if you refuse? Is she going to act like you ruined her special day by not doing what she wants? Will she ruin YOUR night too for denying her? Then tell her you’re not doing it. This is just another crack of the whip. Wear your own costume, and if she pitches a fit leave her at home and go out with your friends.

  4. It depends.

    Does she really enjoy the idea? Is this something that she is putting a lot of time and energy into?

    How is your relationship? Is it healthy and satisfying to both of you, or is there a sense of “my girlfriend keeps pushing me on x/y/z but I don’t want to do any of it”? Does she go out of her way to do things that you enjoy but may not be her choice of activity?

    Without more information, it’s hard to say. Having said that, it’s a balancing act between being “true to yourself” and being flexible/accommodating as part of being a couple.

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