All posts by Em & Lo

5 Ways to Show Your Appreciation to Your Partner

Last week we published an article by YourTango explaining how to resuscitate your relationship after a bout of infidelity. The solution? You have to truly — and verbally — appreciate your partner. Like, a lot. But why wait for an affair to do this? In fact, appreciating your partner on a daily basis is a great way to protect your relationship from infidelity. There are no guarantees, of course: that’s just not the way life and love work. But doing your best to be good to the one you love — and to make them feel good, at least once a day — is a pretty good way to bolster long-term fidelity (however you define “fidelity” in your own personal relationship). Because, let’s face it, fidelity could use a little help these days.

Here are five ways to demonstrate your appreciation to your partner — in other words, this is how to remind your partner that you still notice them. Trust us, noticing goes a long way in a relationship.

1) Notice the Little Things

In the division of household labor, perhaps you always load and unload the dishwasher and your partner always does the laundry. Perhaps you mow the lawn and your partner cleans the bathrooms. But just because you have established a fair breakdown of chores that demonstrates the admirable equality in your relationship, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be grateful. So say thank you for these things. You can say, “Thank you for folding my clothes better than a Gap salesperson,” or you can say, “Thank you for always doing more than your share around the house,” or you can say, “Wow! The lawn looks amazing!” You get the idea. Those chores can become, well, a chore over the years, and everyone assumes that their partner doesn’t notice the jobs they do that are solely their responsibility. Make a point to notice this stuff.

2) Notice the Big Things

Sure, you can say, “Thank you for driving the kids to the bus today,” or “Wow, you must be tired after working all those extra hours this week.” But it’s also nice to go bigger picture sometimes, too. Think: “When I fell in love with you, I believed you’d make an amazing mom/dad. But I didn’t know quite how much you’d rock this role.” Or, “I know you’d rather be writing a screenplay/trying out for a reality TV show/doing CrossFit full-time, but I really appreciate you working for a sucky boss so we can, you know, eat and stuff.” Or, “You have no idea how it improves my mood each morning when you make that awesome pour-over coffee.” Or, “I don’t know how you attend so many kids’ birthday parties, you must be some kind of saint.”

3) Support Your Partner’s Passions

Speaking of that screenplay or that reality TV show or that CrossFit obsession: make time in your relationship to support your partner’s true passions. Many of us — most of us? — aren’t lucky enough to get paid to do what we really love, so do this for each other, instead. Tell your partner, “Why don’t [fill in the blank: I take the kids/we skip church/you bag your house chores] on Sunday morning, so you can work on your novel/paint/scrapbook/paddle-board/ballroom-dance.” Giving your partner time to pursue these beloved hobbies shows that you still care about their happiness and satisfaction, and that you respect their talents and passions.

4) Compliment Your Partner

It’s simple, basic, and old-school, but that doesn’t mean that anyone tires of being complimented on their looks, especially when they’re in a long-term relationship and are not getting that regular flirtatious feedback via the pickup scene. Try, “You look so beautiful this morning.” Or, “You’re hotter than when I met you.” Or, “I love the way your ass looks in those jeans.” And yes, this is a gender-neutral recommendation — men need to hear this stuff just as much as the ladies.

5) Date Your Partner

Life is hard, and life keeps you busy, especially when you’re married with kids. But life was hard and busy in its own way back when you were dating, and you still found time to do stuff and plan stuff then. Make a dinner reservation somewhere. Bring, yes, flowers. (It’s not a cliche if you never do it, right?) Dress up a bit when you go out together (that includes the dudes, too). Come up with new ideas/positions/toys to try out in bed. Send sexy texts. Send romantic texts. Read out loud to each other in bed (not necessarily erotica, though that’s cool, too). Discuss culture, politics, and your hopes and dreams as well as day-to-day logistics. Make a five-year plan together, and a ten-year plan, and a twenty-year plan. And make sure that these plans include big dreams and life goals as well as the practical stuff like saving for kids’ college educations. Most of all, though: ask your partner questions, and really listen to their answers. It’s called conversation. Remember it?

Want more appreciation tips?
10 Things to Say to Your Partner Instead of “I Love You”

Our Job Application to Be “Frat Moms”

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According to a recent article in Jezebel, the University of Michigan is considering placing live-in house directors in frat houses to maintain order, a.k.a. to control the general rapey vibe. Live-in advisors, more commonly known as “Frat Moms,” were big back in the seventies, but the trend has since died out. The University of Michigan is thinking of bringing it back, and we’d like to nominate ourselves for the role. Here is our application for the job:

Dear the University of Michigan,

We are very interested in the position of Frat Mom. We think you will find that our resume (attached), speaks for itself. We look forward to hearing from you.

Best Regards,

Em & Lo

Em & Lo
EMandLO.com

EXPERIENCE
– Fifteen years advising the love-lorn on everything from booty call etiquette to safer sex.
– Fifteen years (each, approx.) of first loves, weird blind dates, over-drinking, disappointing relationships, dancing on tables and bars, did we say over-drinking, heart-rending breakups, etc.
– Nine years (each) of marriage to men who believe in equality in both the kitchen and the bedroom, and who are both recovering fraternity members.
– Eight years (each, approx.) of parenting two small children, including wiping up puke, teaching basic table manners, and instructing them in the meaning of the word “no.”

ACHIEVEMENTS AND AWARDS
– Our book Sex: How to Do Everything was named by the Guardian newspaper in the U.K. as one of the ten best sex manuals of all time, along with the freakin’ Kama Sutra. And guess which one of those two is more relevant to college kids?
– Toured college campuses across the country with a one-hour show educating college kids on everything from reproductive rights to the correct way to have anal sex (retro flight attendant outfits were involved).

EDUCATION
– We each completed a four-year college education, successfully avoiding both date rape and any life-long STDs.
– Self-educated in the subject of sexology (fifteen years, approx.).
– Field-educated in the subject of douches, playas, and other men who don’t call their mothers nearly as often as they should.

SKILLS
– Experienced in holding back our friends’ hair while they puke and confiscating friends’ phones when they are tempted to drunk-text an ex.
– Comfortable discussing everything from queefs to anal leakage in polite company.
– Impervious (finally) to the so-called charms of the bad boy.
– Able to order a pizza on the phone while simultaneously wiping someone’s ass.

INTERESTS
– We are passionate about women’s rights, gay rights, comprehensive sex education, personal responsibility, honest communication, consent, safer sex, manmade lube, good condoms, flat-front pants on men, random ’80s pop culture references, and the buddy system.

REFERENCES
Feel free to call our moms. Or our husbands. Or our four-year-old sons.

So how do we really feel?
Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Sons About Sex

Your Weekly Horoscopes: August 17th, 2015

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photo via Pixabay

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
Someone you have a crush on is going to poop on you, just like Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. But don’t let it get you down: there are plenty of dogs in the sea who’ve been potty trained.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
This week, stop talking, start doing. ‘Nuff said.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
We have a very special Gemini in our lives who’s been getting spanked by Cupid instead of speared lately. We’re talking a string of rude, jerkface losers, one right after the other. And it’s not as if this Gemini did anything to deserve such luck: She is kind, generous, sweet, and totally balls-out hot. But now she’s sad, and a little less willing to go out and scope the joint, as it were. Well, we’re here to tell her and every other Gemini out there to keep the faith, keep a stiff upper lip, and keep a condom in your pocket. Because you’re gonna get your groove back any day now, just like Stella.

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
Here’s your problem: You will be inclined to act like Ariana Grande in order to get noticed by someone. Here’s your solution: Act naturally (i. e. no excessively big ponytails or donut-licking allowed).

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
Do as we say, not as we do. What we’re doing right now is blowing a lot of hot air out our pie holes, overanalyzing everything, overworking, and not getting laid. But we say, keep your trap shut and your moves simple, and things should really start to “happen for you.”

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
This week, everything will come easily to you. And somehow, no one will hate you for it. Kind of like George Clooney.

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
Don’t sit home alone this week. Even more importantly, don’t sit home alone and watch Home Alone this week.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
You will meet a perfect candidate for love, but only if you take a class in multi-culturalism.

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
We once told you not to mix business with pleasure. But did you listen? No. We’ll say it again: Don’t mix business with pleasure, damn it. This means no sex on the boss’s desk for at least a week. And we mean it!

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
If you don’t care to share your feelings then the person you care about is likely to think that you don’t care. Don’t be like Pierre.

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
Hunt for a mate in his/her natural habitat. If you’re looking for a solid, dependable, upright citizen-type, don’t cruise a dive bar five minutes before closing time. If you’re looking for a kinky, temporarily satisfying, emotionally devoid fling, don’t sign up for your local church’s singles getaway weekend. (Then again . . . ) And if you’re looking for a dullard who’s so ugly even the tide won’t take them out, don’t take any of the advice we’ve ever written.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
Lately, you’ve been addicted to love (with all apologies for putting that Robert Palmer song into your head) and we think you should check yourself into relationship rehab for a week. Your need to be in a relationship and your desire to fall in love may trick you into believing you’ve found the one. And don’t try to tell us you could stop anytime . . .

The Most Entertaining Reviews of the Go Girl Female Urination Device

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The Amazon product reviews have long been a source of inspiration and humor. Who could forget the awesome reviews of the Avery Durable View Binder with 2-Inch Slant Ring in the wake of the “binders full of women” debacle? And the laugh-out-loud reviews of the BIC Cristal for Her Ball Pen remind us that there are good, sane, smart people in this world, and hopefully some of them will run for political office soon.

Anyway, we were browsing Amazon the other day, and, inexplicably — at least, inexplicably to us; we’re sure Amazon has a very good reason for pushing this product on us — the Go Girl Female Urination Device in Lavender (of course it’s in lavender) kept popping up. People, this product has 744 reviews! Who knew there was such a demand out there for a lavender item that lets you pee into a bottle like a frat guy on a road trip?! Turns out that this is a product that brings together women with urinary incontinence; women who attend Burning Man and other muddy festivals; women who drive trucks or are married to men who do; women soldiers; female to male transgender people; pregnant women giving pee samples; campers; hikers; road trippers; drunk college girls; and hundreds more. We went down a wormhole reading their reviews — here is just a sampling of our favorites. Some are funny, some are impressively, oddly helpful, and some just make us want to stand up and pee our names in the snow…

Wicked Pissah!
By Dawn Elizabeth
I peed everywhere. That bush? Yep. Peed on it! That tree? Uh huh. Peed on it. Those tiny woodland creatures? Screw you, b*tches! Peed on them. I peed in the sun. I peed in the rain. I peed just for fun. I peed down a drain. I peed in the light. I peed in the dark. I peed left and right. I peed in the park.

You just hold it in place, pull your pants down just enough for it to stick out and pee. No taking your pants all the way off. No squatting. No accidentally peeing down the side of your leg. When you’re done you just shake it out, rinse it if you can, and stick it back into the container. Easy PEEsy.

The directions say to try this at home first in your toilet. I did not do that and it was fine….HOWEVER…. My friend, on the other hand, who also got a GoGirl for our long weekend adventure, tried it for the first time after several bottles of wine. She didn’t pee on anything. Except herself. So maybe follow the directions unless you’re as awesome as I am, especially if you’ve gone through, like, a bottle and a half of red AND white wine in like 45 minutes. I’m just sayin’.

Also, mine is lavender and hers is khaki, I don’t think that made a difference in pee skill, but I feel like I was more fashionable when doing it. They should make more colors so a girl can coordinate her PEEnis with her outfit.

Either way, I can’t wait until winter so I can try to write my name in the snow.

A travel must
By Simple Style
When you don’t know where the next bathroom will be located or what the state of it may be, this handy devise saves you from pure and utter disgust. I’ve filled my shoes and wet my pant cuffs all across Europe, but not any more. I’m so thrilled to have this product before my trip to Asia. I tested it out at home, find it easy to use and easy to clean. I also purchased a set of Kushies “On The Go” Wet Bag 2-Pack, Girl Print in which to store this. The small bag fits the Go Girl tube, a little toilet tissue and a sanitizing wipe too.

No better gift for a wife
By Jeff Hill
Best gift I gave my wife for her bday. She uses it all the time.

Too soft unless you can undress to use.
BySheeshaon
I have been using these devices for about 25 years, starting when I discovered the Freshette and used it for 17 years in the Army. Recently I started trying other models thinking I might find something better, looking for one to use on my farm when it is inconvenient to go back to the house but inappropriate to just drop trou and go where I am. Things to consider when choosing one are whether you want to pee only standing up or in other positions, how much of your clothing you can pull down or move aside, and how compact it needs to be for you to be comfortable carrying it. The following characteristics will therefore affect your choice: 1) rigidity vs. flexibility, since a firmer device will be easier to seal if you are in positions other than standing and require less adjustment of clothing, but a very flexible one will fold up smaller; 2) overall size and especially length of spout, since a longer spout makes it easier not to pee on your shoes but may be harder to fold up and store. I have tried the Freshette, the pStyle, the TooGoo, and the GoGirl. Although the Freshette served me well, the separate extension tube was hard to keep clean and without it the spout was a tad short, so overall my favorite is the pStyle. It is just about as compact as any to store since it is compressable, but it is still firm enough to hold clothing out of the way without collapsing, and it extends far enough to miss your shoes. Both the TooGoo and GoGirl are way too soft, so you have to just about drop all your clothing in order to get a seal and not deflect the spout in an unintended direction. This is fine if you’re in a public restroom, but does no good out in the field. All are better than nothing, but these are my preferences.

easy to pack away
By amy nichole gill
Very flexible, easy to pack away. Tried it out in the shower and enjoyed myself immensely. I can finally pee like a man!! And don’t have to endure those cold drafts on my cheeks in the outhouse. No more looking for logs to sit on when I go camping!

GREAT
By Terrygirl
I love it! I can stand up! I can pee on that brush

5Happy Peeing!
By R
I am a pre-T and pre-surgery FtM and this was great for me. I was hesitant due to all the bad reviews, but I don’t know why they complained. All you do is put it up to your junk, and pee. I’ve never spilled or overflowed, not even my first time. Though I dread the name “GoGirl”, it is a wonderful product for active women, or people in my situation. Now I can use the stalls in the men’s bathroom without waiting for the bathroom to be empty. When I’m done I just take some toilet paper, wipe myself, and any urine remaining in the funnel. I don’t have to pull my pants down all the way, it really is a great thing for my self esteem.

This may be TMI…
By Briana
The only thing I would say about this item is CONTROL YOUR FLOW. The first time I used this, I had to pee so bad and I just let it out….I peed all over myself because the stream wasn’t flowing out of the hole fast enough before backing up and spewing out the top and running down my legs. One thing I did find though was if you pinch the end (there is a rectangular slit, why it doesn’t just have a round hole is beyond me, squeeze it to bow out the sides and make it wider) it flows out faster. But still try to control the rate at which you let it out. Otherwise this came in extreme handiness because port-o-pots are gross! 🙂

Five Stars
By Pickyourownnose
Nothing like being able to whip it out and squirt.

No Go for this Go Girl!
By Jamerica, Inc.
What a mistake! I defied my nature, and sprung for this contraption for camping. To spare you the sordid details and to make a long story short, this item was used ONCE, and that turned out to be a messy, messy mistake. LOL If you can stop and start on demand (if you know what I mean), you may have better luck than I did. Personally, I felt like the Niagara Falls would never end, and clean up (in a tent!) was NOT a snap. LOL! Hilarious now, but not so funny at the time!

5Five Stars
By candy
All lady campers need this. Weird but on point.. enough said

The “pee”dom to go standing up!
By Leshell
I love to hike, however I hate the trail outhouses in the Pacific Northwest. I’ve visited loos in third world slums that felt fresh and clean compared to the squalid conditions we’ve deemed acceptable here. I am not princess by any means, but it came to me contemplating dehydration as an acceptable solution to avoid sitting in the outhouses at Poo-Poo Point (yes, that is a real trail name). A solution was needed.

A little back story for you, I did extensive online research before I committed to my first female urinary device, and I was convinced that I’d found the absolute best product on the market to pee in the woods. I practiced for weeks in the shower, and I never quite got it. I was devastated and gave up on the concept. DO NOT DO THIS! After another season of hiking I broke down and ordered the Go Girl. I was desperate, but I wasn’t hopeful.
Cue angels singing and beams of light shining down. The Go Girl worked perfectly. After my previous failed attempts, I could hardly believe it. I was so thrilled about it that I wanted to show my husband, but that would be weird. So instead, I’m telling strangers on the internet about it.

Now, this is my caveat. Every woman’s body is different. What worked for me isn’t going to work for everybody. Don’t despair if you don’t instantly find a solution that makes sense for you! This may seem like a frivolous product, but the freedom of being able to pee standing up should not be underrated.

Even with practice, had difficulty using device. Long …
By C. Wells
Even with practice, had difficulty using device. Long story short, if you urinate faster than the urine can exit the opening on the end of the tube…you’re going to wind up with a lap full of hot urine once the cup fills. In the dark. In a port a potty. Ugh. I think I’m going to cut a bigger hole in the tip and give it another try.

OMG this thing is way too awesome. MY 5 year old loves it so much …
By John Bates
OMG this thing is way too awesome. MY 5 year old loves it so much that she thinks she is a boy. I love the product so much I bought six one for every car one for the boat and one for the each backpack.

A MUST for Burning Man or camping festivals
By Doomspore
This is a lifesaver for Burning Man, or any other festival where bathroom opportunities are slim, Takes a bit of getting use to how to position it to avoid leaks but you can easily pee in a bottle. Stays clean and easy to clean and folds up pretty small. Can’t imagine burning man without this.

Don’t hold that urine till you get to a rest room
By Donald S.
Purchase a Go Girl and you girls can piss like a man. When on the road if you have to go stop the car on the shoulder of the roadway and pop the hood lean over look at the engine and let it rip. [ Pee ]

Love the color. Hate the fit.
By Jason Schary
so I feel it matched perfectly when I run into those times when I just need to go. Couple of complaints however.

First off, I a firm supporter of equal rights. So while I do understand, it is called Go Girl, as it is intended for women. I do feel this should not stop one from using it. We are all equals now. Despite the fact that I do have a smaller sized penis, compared to the average man, I did have problems getting the fit correct. I tried it out while in church. Those services can sure last a long time. With my enlarged prostate, I tend to go every 15 minutes or so. I was able to fill that bad boy up and just toss it away without anyone noticing. Very little spillage.

One other complaint. I understand this is meant for urination. I assumed this could also be used for defecation as well. I found it very difficult to line the cup up with my anus. So I ended up getting fecal matter all over my hands. That is rather disgusting. I think the Go Girl company should enlarge the cup so this does not happen. Plus my feces really clogged up the entire device. I was in the stands at a Dodger Game the first time I used it. It was quite messy. Kershaw was 6 innings into a no hitter. I am not exactly going to leave my seat. My poor grandmother, who I went with, had to go up to the concession stand to get me some napkins to wipe everything off. Not cool.

Despite all of these fit issue, I am quite happy with my Go Girl. Mostly because of the beautiful lavender color. I often say to myself “Girl! I gots to go!” and am able to go where and whenever I wish. Praise the good lord for that.

Great idea great gift if you need a stocking stuffer …
By Filomeana Paresi
Great idea great gift if you need a stocking stuffer or someone just had a baby as I bought it for my granddaughter who just started going on the potty and it’s great when you go to the mall or anyways and you don’t want to use those stinky dirty bathrooms this is the perfect perfect way to go to the bathroom, S.I.N.Y.LADYRIDER

BEST THING EVER!
By Lindsay Shoup
HIS THING IS AWESOME! I have always hated peeing in the woods. I hate squatting, I hate having to watch getting pee on your pants or shoes, and I hate that there could be a real possibility of some one seeing my naked behind. Problem is I LOVE being outdoors. I love camping and hiking, plus I work construction. Those places almost never have a bathroom for girls, leaving me to squat, but not anymore! Oh no, now I can walk out and totally be one of the dudes!
Serious:
I started really looking into one of these things cuz I’m getting ready to go on a six day hike through the woods. I found this and instantly bought it to try it out. It works great! I take it everywhere!
Funny:
So when I first bought this, my first thought was “I COULD TOTALLY HAVE A PISSING CONTEST!” Then all my friends, who already think I’m a dude cuz I always have three things on my mind, beer pizza and well… Adult fun time, started giving me ideas like “now you can pee in a bottle”. My parents are scared that next winter they’re going to have my name spelled out everywhere on the snow, and they are smart to be scared cuz that probably will happen.
I took this out camping with a group of my friends, I’m not one to hold back personal stuff, so they all knew I had one. We talked and joked about it and somewhere, through a little alcohol, they ended up nameing my go girl peter.
Only thing I recommend being cautious about is that if you are a little on the too much alcohol scale, make sure you REALLY focus, or you gonna end up wearing pee!
BEST INVENTION EVER!

Shake it off!
By Chelsea Fergen
Go Girl will turn your mundane sitting-to-pee life into a total adventure! Now you can write your name in the snow, pee off tall buildings, and freak out your coworkers in the ladies room in the stall next to you. The best part is that it’s not awkward at all to wash off after use. Shake off your Go Girl like a man shakes his junk, and simply wash it off in the public restroom sink – nothing to see here! Really, just buy it, and start thinking of awesome hashtags you can put on Facebook. #peelikeaman #standingurinationqueen #didntpullahammie #peefunnelfun Thank me later, you gorgeous adventure-loving piss ninjas.

Wow this is a great product, I’m glad I found it agin
By T. H.
Wow this is a great product, I’m glad I found it agin. As a female soldier I was issued on on a deployment loved it but lost it 🙁 so this is great very convenient and sanitary. 😉

Neat, Clean, Discrete
By Amazon Customer
I have a busted ankle, so doing the dirty toilet squat in mid-air is impossible for me. Yes, it used to suck to be me! Not anymore.
I pee standing up now!!
I don’t touch dirty toilets with ANYTHING. I don’t have to make a nest before I can go. I also don’t do a sprinkler thing, or make a mess (I’m REALLY not sure why men have such bad aim!).
3 words: Neat, Clean, Discrete

Now we too can participate in pissing contests!
By Pnurga
This device makes public urination possible for women. We’re so infrequently seen peeing while standing, that passers-by won’t even realize that’s what you’re doing. Pretending to talk on the phone with the other hand really completes the illusion of nonchalant loitering from behind. It’s also handy for relieving yourself into when stuck in gridlock traffic. Keep a pee can available in your vehicle. Never leave home without it in your purse, because 9 times out of 10, it’s your better option when considering gas station rest stops.

FREEDOM!
By WheelyZ “WheelyZ”
I LOVE my Go Girl! No longer do I have to bare my buns to the world risking cold, poison ivy, passers by, snakes, etc etc while my husband stands by oblivious to my discomfort! Now we stand side by side proudly peeing anywhere and everywhere! I don’t know how I never heard of this before. I will tell all my friends about this awesome device. I always said my only regret that I am not a man is because I couldn’t pee standing up and that is no longer an issue. I feel FREE! Yay Go Girl!!!!

too flexible for my needs
By Heather Watson
I searched and researched long and hard to find the best FUD. let me preface this by saying: I need something for more than “hygienic” or “sanitary” purposes. when I travel with my husband in the rig, sometimes stopping at a rest area isn’t an option and I needed something that would enable me to pee in a bottle/container. ladies, this DOES NOT work for that. it works great when I’m home and can take my pants off and stand still over a toilet; however, for parked/driving and standing this won’t. I’ve tried. peed on my pants, it’s impossible to make this flexible thing stay stationary so I have to do short bursts of pee (uncomfortable) and STILL peed on my clothes. if you just want something to enable you to pee in a toilet while standing, this may work for you (if you remove pants) but not for anything else. very dissatisfied with my decision.

Freedom!
By Backyard Librarian
This item is freedom from the tyranny of squatting. Gone are those days of stumbling out of your tent at 3 am in the dark to pee only to have some grass and other foliage bad-touch you while your business gets done. This thing is lightweight, easy to use, easy to clean, and a very attractive shade of lilac making it easy to spot in a dark pack.
If you must do your business outdoors you need one of these.

You don’t have to sit.
By Danny
I got this to use in Italy as many public toilets are trough style and as a US toilet user that frightened me. This is actually fun to use. I mean, I got to pee like a guy.

Great for pregnant women!
By K. Ober
It did take a little getting used to, but this device is SO helpful for pregnant women who have to routinely give urine samples toward the end of their pregnancy! SO happy with this!!

Wife likes it but….
By Jeffery Lawrence
My wife wanted one for the times we go 4×4’ing or generally not around a restroom. It works as advertised but it’s a little disturbing to see it in action. Guys, turn your backs like a gentleman should and you won’t have the visual image of your girl urinating standing up. : )

Good idea but not easy to use
By Vania Freitas
I trained at home but it’s still not easy to use. So in festivals I was too scared to use it when a bit drunk

Took this on my camping trip and pee’ed like a man for the first time
By Insiya Jariwalla
Took this on my camping trip and pee’ed like a man for the first time!!!! Life IS GOOD!!!!!!
Highly recommend this product for every female out there!!! Soft silicone, and can easily be stuffed back into the container!!!

It was my first choice, until I tried pSyle!
By Pacia
I have a bladder disease: Interstitial Cystitis, therefore I need to urinate a lot, (ie on dog walks in my neighborhood, at the beach, during car rides, you name it). Squatting in public is just not an option anymore. Here are my needs: Discretion is key, comfort, usability and performance are also top priorities. I ordered “Go Girl”, “Shewee”, “Wiz Freedom” & “pStyle”. I tried them all right out of the box, without a “shower trial”. Initially I used my own home bathroom, standing over the toilet with my pants only as far down as discretion would allow. I also tried them with jeans, bicycle shorts and yoga pants. Here are my results:

Shewee- When I used this product I had urine on my clothing. I tried using it 3 times with the same results. It’s very bulky and therefore not discrete, The clear tube must be used because the green funnel isn’t long enough to exit the urine safely away from the body. It is made of hard plastic, so it will not collapse during use but still needs 2 hands because it’s so long and narrow you need to hold both ends. It comes with it’s own caring case, which is a plus. The part of the funnel you hold next to your body is extremely narrow, the funnel itself is so narrow if one was to release a large volume, quickly, I think it would overflow. You also need to wipe afterward because if you try to wipe yourself with it, it’s just to narrow, plus now you have 2 plastic pieces that are also wet (besides yourself and your clothing). This devise is generally hard to use, indiscrete (dark green…really?) and bulky both to carry and use. I would give the Shewee a rating of 1 star. I expected more from REI.

Wiz Freedom- Out of the package, first try worked fine. It’s flexible and therefore needs both hands to keep it in place and prevent crimping. This devise was not very discrete, anyone seeing you from the side would wonder about this long bright pinkish-purple thing sticking out from between your legs. It doesn’t come with a carrying case and I couldn’t figure out how on earth I would carry this discreetly in my purse or use it in an emergency. It also stays wet and there’s the issue of self-clean-up, since you are wet after use. At least it doesn’t wet your clothing so, I would give this 2 stars.

Go Girl- no leaking on first try, more difficult with elastic clothing due to the flexibility of the product, good discretion, you do need to use both hands to hold it tight to your body and keep it from crimping. I liked that it folded in half- and I could fit it into a small iPhone case on my waist when not in use! I didn’t like that there was still moisture in the devise and on my body when I finished, and therefore needed to wipe myself and figure out what to do with the paper. I would give this product 3 stars.

pStyle- Worked great out of the package. Just the right length, the color option of semi-clear lavender makes it discrete as well. Because this devise is made of semi-flexible smooth plastic with rounded edges you can effectively use it to wipe yourself, when you are done. By gently pressing up and away from yourself, you are virtually dry- the last few drops go out the end. If you shake it, the pStle is virtually dry. as well If you want to really get it clean, just use a little water from your water bottle to shoot down the spout. If you buy the caring case you can pop the pStyle in there quickly and easily, and carry on without any fuss. The case just looks like an eyeglasses case and is totally washable with a Velcro closure. The case also comes in a blue-jean material, it can be hung on a belt loop or on the outside of a bag, purse or backpack with it’s mini carabiner. Because it is semi-ridged it requires only 1 hand in the middle to hold it in place— it won’t collapse. It also will not overfill or back-up because it is not a funnel, it’s more of a half-pipe. This is the only one I use now. I would give the pStle 5 stars, with a BIG thank you to the people who designed and distributed this product.

Don’t know how I lived without it
By M. M. “inquisitive designer”
The Go Girl is fantastic for active women and other people with uteri who enjoy the outdoors, sports, music festivals, camping, hiking, biking, traveling, etc. Sketchy bathrooms — or nonexistent ones! — are no match for this handy device. Honestly, before I ordered it, I wasn’t quite sure how it would even work: would it properly form a seal with no leaks? What if it was too hard or too soft? What if it didn’t “fit” me or just plain didn’t work? How the heck would I get it back in that tiny case? But I thought for the price, it was worth trying.

How it works: You hold the Go Girl up to your body and relax your muscles, and the pee comes out the little “exit” tube at the end. It’s made of a soft, flexible, medical-grade silicone, so it molds to your unique shape and forms a leak-proof seal. When you’re done, you either 1) rinse/wash/dry the device and put it back in the case, or 2) put the unwashed device into a plastic bag to wash later. The Go Girl I bought is a pinkish-lavender, but you can also get it in khaki. (Although I’m not a “pink” kind of person, the khaki one was little too phallic-looking for my tastes — but it could be a great option for others who, for various reasons, want something that blends in a bit better. Suggestion to the company: please make the Go Girl in more colors!)

The Go Girl comes in a small, resealable plastic tube, rolled up with a plastic bag and a small paper napkin. The bag and napkin are for “emergency” situations when you can’t rinse/wash the Go Girl. You’re supposed to toss the plastic bag and the napkin after use and replace them with your own baggie and toilet paper in preparation for your next “emergency.” The instructions that come with the Go Girl advise you to practice using it in the shower a few times so you can get the hang of it. Holding and positioning the device was a little awkward at first for me (hey, I’ve never used anything like this before!), but after a few times, it felt natural.

The only thing the instructions lack is a detailed description of how to fold the Go Girl small enough to get it back in the plastic case. They advise you to go to their website to see a video, which I had to watch four times (!) before I could figure out how they were actually folding it. Here’s how you do it:

1. Hold the Go Girl so the “narrow” side with the exit tube is facing you.
2. This seems counter-intuitive, but stay with me: fold the Go Girl flat from front to back so that the two narrow rounded ends meet at the top. It should now be in a diamond shape with the exit tube pointing down and slightly towards you.
3. Fold the exit tube upwards. Now the Go Girl should look like a rounded triangle.
4. Roll the Go Girl up from left to right like a tiny sleeping bag and stick it back in the plastic carrying case. Voilà!

I carry mine in my purse in case I come across any sketchy bathrooms while I’m out and about. There have been several times where I was so thankful I had it with me. I also find that it’s actually faster and more convenient to stay standing, adjust your clothes, and use the Go Girl — instead of sitting down and doing all that that entails.

I would absolutely recommend this product without hesitation. I actually bought several to give to my sister, mom, and girlfriends, and they love them. Every person who otherwise has to sit or squat to use the bathroom should have one of these!

** Update: I still keep my Go Girl in my purse, and I use it all the time. It has never leaked, not even once. I’ve used it at two Bonnaroos, and, honest to maude, I don’t know if I would have survived without it. I’ve also used it on several train trips, cross-country/international flights, and a month-long backpacking trip through Europe. It’s a life-saver.

** Another Update: I keep using my Go Girl, and it keeps being awesome. The girlfriend I go to Bonnaroo with also has a Go Girl (guess who got it for her? LOL), and this past August we ventured to San Francisco for Outside Lands, a three-day music festival in Golden Gate Park. They had the standard porta-john setup, and we were once again thankful to have our Go Girls so that we could stay standing up and use the built-in urinals, thereby completely avoiding the gross toilet seats. Also, over Labor Day, I used my Go Girl while hiking in the Big South Fork — and I would not have felt as comfortable or safe (from bugs) without it. And finally, I got into road and mountain biking several months ago, and just last week I ordered a second Go Girl to keep in my bike kit permanently — it’s so small that it fits perfectly inside my seat bag along with my spare tube and patch kit. This way, I’m never without my Go Girl on the trail or greenway. I actually can’t believe it’s taken me this long to get a second one! LOVE IT.

How to Make Masturbation with a Vibrator Feel Less Lonely

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photo via Pixabay

Dear Em & Lo,

I’m a 24-year-old woman who hasn’t had sex in 4 years, 10 months, 15 days, 5 hours, 51 minutes…well, you get the idea. I had my first boyfriend when I was twenty and it lasted for four months. He was my first sexual partner, and as of today, my last.

I have had a vibrator since I was 12, and it has been a great tool to get me off, but also to discover what I like. Using a vibrator has not made me numb, in fact, it has made me more sensitive, and I had at least one orgasm, if not more, per sex session with my ex. We broke up because of personality issues…he didn’t have one.

Fast forward to now, and it’s been a very looooong time since I’ve had sex or any sexual intimacy with a man. Just my vibrator. But it’s not doing it for me anymore. Every time I use it, I do orgasm, but it feels so empty and unfulfilling, even if I use a dildo. Sure, it gets rid of the horniness, but I unplug it, put it back into its drawer, and lie in bed. Alone. Plainly speaking, I miss having a penis inside me and the big manly arms holding me. I also miss kissing and cuddles. I miss the smell of a man, burrowing my fingers into his hair, his hot breath on my neck that sends chills down my back…BUT I digress.

I’m not into one-night stands, or “friends with benefits” (even if I did have male friends, who weren’t gay). I want a boyfriend to be intimate with, to feel comfortable with and to explore our bodies together. But because of my weight (I’m 100 lbs overweight), I feel extremely unattractive and I know that men my age think I’m ugly because of it. According to the opposite sex, I’m invisible.

So, I’m asking, what can I do to “help myself” until I either find the right guy who likes me for the way I look or lose enough weight to be considered attractive? How do I scratch this damned itch that only a penis attached to a warm human body can scratch? Keep in mind that it might take another four years, which at that time I should just join a freakin’ nunnery, to be in a relationship.

Thank you,
Sick of Playing Solitaire

Dear SOPS,

Wow, that’s a toughie. If there was a vibrator that kissed, cuddled, breathed on your neck, and wrapped its big manly arms around you, then we’d be selling it on our site (for a very reasonable markup, honest!). That said, a super-sized, heavy-breathing, groping silicone dong sounds like the stuff that B-movie horror flicks are made of. Attack of the 50-Foot Dildo, anyone? Not exactly the kind of intimacy you’re looking for — even science fiction can’t help you here.

So you need to find a way to make sex with your vibrator feel a little more real (rather than Real Doll). Which means you’re going to have to up the ante on your fantasy life. You do have a fantasy life, right? Because if you don’t, this would be a very good time to start. It’s very easy — especially with the super-powered vibrators available today — to lie back and let your Original Magic Wand (nee Hitachi) do all the heavy lifting. After all, it’s almost impossible not to have an orgasm with one of those babies — even if your mind wanders and you start to think about what you could whip up for dinner using last night’s leftovers. But fantasizing will give you a whole different kind of orgasm — it’s a way of tricking your mind (not to mention your genitals) into thinking that you’re actually having hot monkey sex with a partner who smells so good you want to bury your face in his hair.

1) Read erotic fiction. There are literally thousands of anthologies out there. Try Sweet Life 2: Erotic Fantasies for Couples by Violet Blue, or Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories or Tasting Her: Oral Sex Stories, both by Rachel Kramer Bussel. Or read romance novels! Or the dirty parts of Anne Rice novels (or better yet, novels by her smutty alter-ego, A.N. Roquelaure). Whatever floats your little man in the boat.

2) Write erotic fiction. Instead of counting down exactly how many seconds it’s been since you’ve had sex, why not write down some of your more memorable sexual experiences from four years ago? Feel free to embellish! In fact, this is fiction: Why not write a short story about a hot one-night stand with one of the Republican candidates who debated last week at the kid table? (Kidding…but we’re sure you don’t need help coming up with your own fantasy hottie.) If the idea of fiction gives you writer’s block, then just write a dirty letter to someone real or imaginary — no need to mail it, of course!

3) Watch porn. It’s not for everyone — and who knows, it may only exacerbate your desire for intimacy — but it’s got to be worth a try. Check out our recent post on five types of porno for ladies to try.

4) Don’t take yourself for granted. We know that after a dozen years of regular masturbation, you’re a pretty sure thing, but that doesn’t mean you don’t still need seducing every now and then. Click here for our recent post about getting yourself in the mood. And yes, we’re talking about candlelight.

5) Join an online dating site to “window shop,” heh. Sure, you might not be ready to get back into the dating game yet, but there’s no reason why you shouldn’t browse the dating sites for a little fantasy material. For some PG-rated window-shopping, Match.com will be all you need. But if you’re up for exchanging some saucy emails with a beautiful stranger, try a site like AdultFriendFinder.com. Just be clear that you’re only looking for dirty talk (or dirty text…) so you’re not leading anyone on.

We can’t promise that any of this will replace a real-life penis (with a man attached attached), but at least it’ll spice up your masturbation routine until said man does come along. Speaking of: We don’t know where you got the idea that all men your age think you’re ugly because of your weight, but we think you should try to prove yourself wrong. You know those dating sites we were talking about — Match.com, we mean, not AdultFriendFinder — well, we think you should give it a shot. Sure, you might feel invisible in a nightclub where skinny jeans and superficial judgments rule the day, but online, everyone gets a shot at a first impression.

Keep on buzzing,

Em & Lo

How to Be a Cool Mom (and Not a “Cool Mom”)

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photo via Pixabay

A recent article in the New York Times discussed the trend of so-called “cool moms” joining in their daughters’ debauched bachelorette parties — drunken trips to male strip clubs in Vegas included. According to the Times:

Mothers like Ms. Rosenberg and Ms. Maffucci said they wanted to be included because they have completely different relationships with their daughters than their mothers had with them.

Ms. Rosenberg is a baby boomer, one of the 75.8 million Americans born during the post-World War II population surge. Boomers, especially mothers, have much closer relationships with their children than the generation prior. “We are well traveled, we read the same books, see the same movies, we take exercise classes,” Ms. Rosenberg said. “For many of us, we feel like an older sister.”

Thanks to social media, it’s easier than ever for women like this to be enmeshed in their daughters’ lives. “My mother and I follow each other on Facebook and Instagram,” one bride-to-be told the Times . “She knows my friends and follows them, and they follow her. I’m lucky. I have a cool mom who doesn’t hover but who I can talk to about anything.” Another bride-to-be noted: “Our grandparents looked and acted so much older. It’s not a midlife crisis, but they want to prove they are not as old as their parents were at this age. And the truth is, they aren’t. My mother is very hip, she follows the same trends I do.”

If all this makes you want to yell “EWWW, stop being so weird,” then you’re not alone. As Jessica Coen writes in Jezebel:

These women have something to prove; they’re fueled by their self-insistence of their own eternal youthfulness. This desire to tag along on a raunchy night with one’s own child, to experience her life just as she does, is exactly what happens when a woman internalizes society’s message that she is only worth a damn if she’s young and dewy and carefree, things that we all supposedly cease to be the minute we spit out offspring or, worse, show signs of aging.

No matter what you believe about the role of mothers in their adult daughters’ lives, a mom’s conscious decision to “live vicariously through them” (and for hours I have been unable to shake the fact that Rosenberg said those words aloud, willingly and perfectly articulating children’s worst suspicions about over-involved parents) is the exact point at which a mom goes all Single White Female on her own child. It propels the parent-child relationship down a confusing, twisty rabbit hole—the same rabbit hole where, coincidentally, Dina Lohan, Kris Jenner, and the Real Housewives live. And as soon as there’s enough Tito’s to flood the hole, everyone drowns.

So how can you be a cool mom to an adult (or near-adult) daughter without turning into one of those self-loathing “cool moms”? Here are our top 10 tips:

1) You can be Facebook friends if she requests it, but limit your interactions to the occasional “like” and the rare comment. If you have a comment about every single one of her posts and pics, then call her up or send a text — do not post them publicly.

2) Ditto for any of her friends — you can accept their friendship requests, but if you see something on their profile that you probably shouldn’t have, it means they forgot they’re your friend (or, rather, “friend”) and you should just graciously “hide” them.

3) Do you really need an Instagram account? Must you Tweet? Perhaps you must, but not if you’re only holding those accounts as a way to connect with your child, or worse, to connect with your child’s social life.

4) You’re not her big sister, and you’re not her best friend. Other people will fill these roles for her. You’re her mom, you’re her only mom, so stop trying to act like this is some “uncool” burden. It’s a privilege to be a mom. And it’s a privilege to be able to say dorky mom stuff, too, like, “When I was your age…” and, “Because I said so,” and, “T.M.I.,” and, “Have fun at the strip club!” Of course, if she invites you to the strip club without any coercion from you, then you are well within your rights to accept said invitation — just don’t judge your daughter and what she does with her dollar bills that night!

5) Go ahead and type LOL when you text your daughter. Do it a lot. This will remind her that you are old(er) and dorky(er). Because while women brag about having cool moms, they also secretly want their mothers to be big fat dorks, sometimes, too. It’s comforting, like a cozy worn sweater, or that tattered Wham!/*NSYNC/Fall Out Boy/One Direction poster your mom never removed from your childhood bedroom. After all, with age, comes wisdom (and maybe mom jeans…maybe not).

6) Tell your daughter that she can tell you everything, but don’t expect her to tell you everything. Make sure she realizes that there are some things you don’t need to know (and that you won’t be hurt when you realize she hasn’t shared them), so long as she is being safe and kind and respectful of herself and others. Similarly, keep your own secrets.

7) Tell her about safer sex and being her own sexual agent and demanding orgasms and that masturbation is okay and where to buy decent sex toys. She will roll her eyes but she will be listening. This is not the behavior of a trying-too-hard “cool” mom, this is the behavior of a woman who wants her daughter to have everything in life she deserves.

8) Don’t ever ask to borrow your daughter’s clothes. Except maybe a pashmina or a necklace or a hat you need for a wedding. If she offers up an item on loan, be grateful and thankful, but still consider a polite “no thanks,” even if you know you could rock the shit out of it.

9) Don’t tell her about your sex life unless she asks.

10) Don’t complain to her about your weight or your wrinkles or your neck. No matter how old your daughter gets, it’s still your job to show her how to age gracefully, how to love your own body, how to be comfortable in your own skin. Bitch to your own friends about how much you hate your bulging waistline or drooping boobs. As far as your daughter is concerned, you’re happy just the way you are.

Want more parenting tips?
Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Daughters About Sex

You Don’t Have to Walk on Eggshells Around a Guy with a Small Penis

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photo via Pixabay

A really interesting conversation took place recently in the comments section of our post, “Is It Okay to Use a Vibrator That’s Bigger Than My Boyfriend?” In situations like this, we always tend to advise readers toward kindness, and also to letting the guy take the lead in terms of dildo size. But a reader named Jon chimed in to say that sometimes honesty is preferable when it comes to penis size. “If she likes the bigger toy then just tell him it gives a different feeling to him –- not necessarily better, just different –- and she likes both,” Jon wrote. “He already knows he isn’t huge, so that shouldn’t be too much of a shock to him. Plus, he’d maybe like seeing her pleasured in a way that he can’t do.” To which we replied, seriously? A guy could handle this? And not just supernaturally confident guys? Below is Jon’s response, assuring us that yes, sometimes honesty is the kindest and best way to go…

It’s not just confidence, it’s also a bit of realism. I’m smaller than this girl’s boyfriend and I certainly wouldn’t have a problem with her enjoying the feeling of something bigger. If she’s happy then it has to be a good thing. Better that than her missing out on something because she’s scared of shattering my ego.

Seems to me that girls tend to think they have to walk on eggshells if a guy has a small penis in case she offends him. Sometimes the worry isn’t having a small one it’s wondering what she really thinks – like if she says oh your size is fine does she really mean that or is she secretly wondering how bigger would feel but doesn’t want to tell me. A bit more honesty would be the way around that – something like, everything’s great between us but sometimes I just want to feel something bigger. Do you think some girls would be worried about having that sort of conversation with their guy?

Want more penis size talk?
My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Happy 40th Anniversary, Rocky Horror!

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This week (Friday, the 14th to be exact) marks the — brace yourself — 40th(!) anniversary of the release of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.” Below, you’ll find all the romantic, sensual and scandalous scenes that’ll take you down memory lane so you don’t have to commit to a nearby midnight screening — unless that’s your thing. Hey, don’t dream it, be it:

“Dammit, Janet” establishes the virginal romantic love between Brad and Janet — you can practically cut the awkward sexual tension with a knife.

“Time Warp” sets the bacchanalian tone for an evening spent stranded in a castle during a dark storm — things are a-brewing!

“Sweet Transvestite” introduces us to the powerful, magnetic, unapologetic, and misunderstood maniac that is Frank N. Furter:

Frank gets a little date-rapey with Janet, but she doesn’t take much convincing to happily join him in the warm waters of sins of the flesh:

Frank pulls the exact same shit with Brad, and Brad flips even quicker than Janet!

A deleted song! The scene and song drag (no pun intended) without much visual appeal (deletion was a good call), but still: it’s fun to watch Brad and Janet contemplate their lost innocence:

Janet gets over it tout suite with Frank N. Furter’s Charles Atlas-inspired creation, Rocky. After all, she’s tasted blood and she wants more…more…more…more…

Turns out, free love comes at a price:

The climactic floor show — which includes the songs “Rose Tint My World,” “Fanfare/Don’t Dream It” and “Wild and Untamed Thing” — is Frank’s forced manifestation of his idealistic, pleasure-centered, self-centered world-view. Too bad it can’t last. Dream big, push boundaries, fuck hard, sing loud, and dance your ass off, but remember: everything in moderation, with consideration for others.

Want more hot horror?
The Top 10 Sexiest Scary Movies

Your Weekly Horoscopes: August 10th, 2015

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photo by Ryan McGuire

aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
You will get laid. Well and often.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Talk to the crotch ’cause the face ain’t listening.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
Do not go to the Olive Garden this week.

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
If your partner won’t dress up like a Catholic School nun and spank your bare bottom with a wooden ruler until it’s pink like a Molly Ringwald prom dress, dump them.

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
Take a cold shower.

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
You will have the opportunity to sleep with someone way hotter than you but intellectually inferior. No judgements here!

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
Love is strange. As long as you’re not related to them, it’s cool, man.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
If you keep schtupping your boss’s spouse you’re gonna get canned like a tuna and have more than your severance pay cut off. (If you’re not currently sleeping with your boss’s wife, then it’s a metaphor, people.)

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
If we can convince you that you’re a hottie — and trust us, you are — chances are you can convince others you’re a hottie too.

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
Is Bob from accounting’s penis really that big? Is Sharon from Sales’ oral acumen really that impressive? Office romances aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
Try to avoid the inevitable pattern that anyone who’s ever fallen in love falls into. Rent Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for inspiration.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
They’re called “standards.” Get some.

The Funniest Google Search Terms That Brought You Here

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photo via Pixabay

We never cease to be amazed at the variety and quirkiness of Google search terms that bring people to EMandLO.com. For example, two of the most consistently popular searches we see in our site logs are “animal sex photos” and “sex poems.” Oddly enough, we find the “sex poems” request more surprising — perhaps that means we’ve been in the biz too long. But whether the search terms are weird or confusing or self-defeating or crazy kinky or laugh-out-loud hilarious, one thing they have in common is this: they remind us why we’re still writing a sex and dating advice column, more than fifteen years after we started. Because somewhere out there, someone will always have a question that needs answering. Yeah, we’re talking to you, guy who wants to know if “married women’s pussy salty.”

Anyway, here’s a brief sampling of some of the more entertaining (shall we say) Google searches that have brought people to EMandLO.com lately… and this is just looking alphabetically from A through D!

after the orgasim i sleep why im a lady

all of my friends have strap-ons they use on the husbands asses

all the girls told me that my pennis girth is too big

any one whu intrested to sex with me

any females hav a small dick.boyfreind

are married women’s pussy salty

are pamela anderson’s breast starting sag

arghh new boyfriend has a small cock

ayanimals sex potos

bad boob day

beby born to unmarried girl in dream what indicated

best way to mastrubatin

bounsing pennis

checking out friends penis at urinal

cucumber gave me big penis

dating and sleeping with capricorn. has not introduced to friends

different sites for booty call for completely for no money at all you don’t pay for it

Ever gone online for help after a breakup?
What Our Google Searches Tell Us About Our Exes

6 Quick Tips for Casual Morning Sex

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photo via Pixabay

Sex at daybreak (or, if you’re a freelancer, just before noon) isn’t just for newlyweds or long-term couples who happen to be morning people. Sometimes it can work in casual situations, too — in fact, sometimes it’s even better in a casual situation because you haven’t known each other long enough to get truly annoyed by each other’s morning breath.

And we happen to think that morning sex is a good litmus test for your regular booty call: If you’re comfortable enough with each other to do it sober, then it’s a booty call worth holding onto. Casual morning sex also confirms that you don’t need a buzz to feel like it’s okay to enjoy sex for sex’s sake. Everyone loves a self-aware booty caller! Also, sometimes you wake up so freakin’ glad that you weren’t wearing beer goggles the night before that you want to knock boots just to celebrate.

Whatever your reason for doing it in the morning with someone new(ish), here are a few quick tips:

Try positions other than missionary in order to reduce exposure to morning breath.
Consider keeping a pack of those dissolvable mint sheets on your night-stand or in your wallet/purse for a quick freshening-up. Mints take too long to eat and gum in bed is just trashy.
Failing mints, just taking a few big gulps of water will do wonders for your breath.
Don’t jump out of bed to brush your teeth unless your partner is, too, otherwise you’ll make them even more self-conscious.
We guarantee that your breath after a pack of cigarettes and five pints of beer was pretty nasty, and it didn’t seem to bother you last night. So stop being such a priss and enjoy the fact that you are having SEX!
If you’re not a big cuddler, here’s your chance to shine: It’s okay to jump out of bed right after morning sex so long as you return with breakfast in bed for your partner.

Want more general casual sex tips? Read:
6 Rules for Pre-Relationship Fuck Buddies

30 Body Image Quotes to Celebrate National Underwear Day

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It’s National Underwear Day, which means Twitter is littered with photos of lean, tan, toned women — and men, too — reclining or writhing in their undies. Apparently just wearing underwear makes some of these people feel orgasmic. Well, we’d like to celebrate in our own way. Here are 30 quotes about body image to make you feel good about your body, whether you’re wearing skimpy red lace briefs… or whether you’re in your period underwear.

1. “You’re a human being, you live once and life is wonderful, so eat the damn red velvet cupcake.” — Emma Stone

2. “I’ve never had a problem with the way I look. I’d rather go for lunch with my friends than go to a gym. — Adele

3. “If anybody even tries to whisper the word ‘diet,’ I’m like, ‘You can go fuck yourself.’” — Jennifer Lawrence

4. “Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.” —Tina Fey

5. “Young women, don’t worry so much about your weight. What makes you different or weird — that’s your strength.” — Meryl Streep

6. “Who cares if there are lumps on my thighs? I’m guilty of having human legs made up of fat, muscle, and skin, and sometimes when you sit, they get bumpy!” — Kristen Bell

7. “Among my acquaintances there is no woman wearing XS. No, sorry, there is one: my daughter. The point is, that Mia is 11 years old.” — Kate Winslet

8. “Step Away from the Mean Girls, and say bye-bye to feeling bad about your looks. Are you ready to stop colluding with a culture that makes so many of us feel physically inadequate? Say goodbye to your inner critic, and take this pledge to be kinder to yourself and others. This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgment, and that is the first step toward transforming your experience of the world.” — Oprah

9. “The more I like me, the less I want to pretend to be other people.” — Jamie Lee Curtis

10. “My limbs work, so I’m not going to complain about the way my body is shaped.” — Drew Barrymore

11. “I definitely have body issues, but everybody does. When you come to the realization that everybody does that — even the people that I consider flawless — then you can start to live with the way you are. I’ve read interviews with some of the most beautiful women who have insecurities. And you look at them and you’re like, ‘How many do you have? Name one thing wrong with yourself,’ and they could name a handful.”— Taylor Swift

12. “You can’t really invest in your looks as the only thing because it’s a depreciating asset. It’s like putting money into a stock that’s going down.” — Rashida Jones

13. “I think about my body as a tool to do the stuff I need to do, not the be all and end all of my existence.” — Lena Dunham

14. “As a child, I never heard one woman say to me, ‘I love my body.’ Not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend. No one woman has ever said, ‘I am so proud of my body.’ So I make sure to say it [my daughter], because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age. … I stand in front of the mirror and say to Mia, ‘We are so lucky we have a shape. We’re so lucky we’re curvy. We’re so lucky that we’ve got good bums.’ And she’ll say, ‘Mummy, I know, thank God.’ It’s paying off.’”— Kate Winslet

15. “You have to look past it — you look how you look. And be comfortable. What are you going to do? Be hungry every single day to make other people happy? That’s just dumb.” — Jennifer Lawrence

16. “Pretty much everyone I know, no matter what size, is trying some system. Even when someone gets to looking like she should be so proud of herself, instead she’s like, ‘I could be another three pounds less; I could be a little taller and have bigger lips.’ Where does it end? You just have to say, ‘It’s pretty damn good. I am right here at the moment and I’m OK with it. I’ve got other things to think about.’” — Melissa McCarthy

17. “Being called gorgeous is not a bad thing! But at the same time, I don’t want to thrive on people’s opinions of me.” — Lupita Nyong’o.

18. “You shouldn’t be pressured into trying to be thin by the fashion industry, because they only want models that are like human mannequins. But you have to remember that it’s not practical or possible for an everyday woman to look like that. Being size zero is a career in itself so we shouldn’t try and be like them. It’s not realistic and it’s not healthy.” – Rihanna

19. “Take your time and your talent and figure out what you have to contribute to this world. And get over what the hell your butt looks like in those jeans!” — America Ferrera

20. “Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.” — Cindy Crawford

21. “Being pregnant finally helped me understand what my true relationship was with my body — meaning that it wasn’t put on this Earth to look good in a swimsuit. I was like, ‘Look, I can carry a baby! I’m gaining weight right, everything’s going well.’” – Amy Adams

22. “I fall into that nebulous, quote-unquote, normal American woman size that legions of fashion stylists detest. For the record, I’m a size 8 — this week, anyway. Many stylists hate that size because I think to them, it shows that I lack the discipline to be an ascetic; or the confident, sassy abandon to be a total fatty hedonist.” — Mindy Kaling

23. “I’m no stranger to the occasional dodgy juice, but it doesn’t taste very nice and it is bloody boring. It’s not a way to live.” — Kate Winslet

24. “If we’re regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words because of the effect that it has on our younger generation, then why aren’t we regulating things like calling people ‘fat’?” — Jennifer Lawrence

25. “I don’t really care what I look like that much, and I think women out there should just be happy with the way they look. They shouldn’t really try to conform to any kind of stereotype. Just be happy and hopefully healthy.” — Rebel Wilson

26. “It’s a very specific body. Even great reviews will be like: chubby, portly, overweight. . . . Sometimes I’m like, ‘Ugh, how did I make myself the guinea pig for this?’ But on the other hand, hating my body has not been my cross to bear in this life. Which I feel very lucky about.” — Lena Dunham

27. “I’ve learned that if you’re too skinny, they’ll say something about it. If you’re not skinny enough, they’ll say something about it. I just try to feel good in my own skin as much as I can.” – Jennifer Love Hewitt

28. “I think that whatever size or shape body you have, it’s important to embrace it and get down! The female body is something that’s so beautiful. I wish women would be proud of their bodies and not dis other women for being proud of theirs!” — Christina Aguilera

29. “I’m never going to starve myself for a part. I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner.’ That’s something I was really conscious of during training, when you’re trying to get your body to look exactly right. I was trying to get my body to look fit and strong — not thin and underfed.” — Jennifer Lawrence

30. “I am a woman with thoughts and questions and s–t to say. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story — I will. I will speak and share and fuck and love and I will never apologize to the frightened millions who resent that they never had it in them to do it. I stand here and I am amazing, for you. Not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself.” — Amy Schumer

Still turning the lights off when you’re naked?
10 Tips to Stop Hating Your Body Enough to Have Sex

The 5 Stages of Grieving Over a Celebrity Divorce

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We know that we shouldn’t continue to be surprised by celebrity divorces, and most of the time, we’re not. Take Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, for example — much as we (okay, Em: she’s the Us Weekly reader of the two of us) enjoyed the sweet photos of their “date afternoons” drinking smoothies together or pushing their kids on the swings at the local park, that marriage seemed like a ticking time bomb, given Affleck’s fondness for booze, gambling, and other women. But Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale? That separation hurts! I mean, there’s no denying that your own personal split or divorce will likely hurt more than watching celebrities separate. With your own divorce, you have to go through all the legal proceedings with a professional divorce attorney and continue life without this partner you once thought would be with you for life. However, watching our favourite celebrities split still leaves an ache in our hearts.

From the outside, at least, they seemed to have it all — a true marriage of equals that still had passion and sweetness after all these years (and all those kids). We loved that Stefani still talked about how hot her husband was, decades into their relationship, and we loved that dry-witted Brit Rossdale could talk about how gorgeous and talented his wife was, and then, in the same breath, joke about how to “have it all” in a marriage. As he said on The Howard Stern Show recently: “[Reporters] say to me, ‘You’re doing this, you’ve got a new record…’How do you guys find time for each other?’ And I said, ‘We don’t, that’s why we’ve been together so long.’ I was f–king around, that’s funny to me. Where I’m from, that’s funny. And it was funny, for about a week, and then it’s like, ‘oh…interesting.’ So it’s just me and my big mouth.” Passion, humor, and a marriage of equals who professed massive respect for each other’s work and hotness — if they can’t make it work, then who can? I guess divorce was more common than we thought, unfortunately. Next you’ll be telling us the Obamas’ marriage is on the rocks. (Please. No.)

So to help us all through this difficult time — and any future difficult times to come — we have prepared a guide to the five stages of grief when it comes to mourning a celebrity marriage.

1. Denial

This first stage of grief helps us to survive the loss. Life makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial. We go numb. Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief — it is nature’s way of letting in only as much grief as we can handle. Common thoughts in this stage:
1) The magazine must have got it wrong. I’m canceling my Twitter!
2) Maybe they just need some time apart to realize how much they miss each other.
3) Even if they divorce, it doesn’t have to be over. Elizabeth Taylor remarried her ex!

2. Anger

Anger is a necessary stage of the healing process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal. Common thoughts in this stage:
1) Do you know how often I defended your marriage to the doubting masses? I even Tweeted about you!
2) Why would you tell Cosmopolitan magazine how in love you were just a few months ago? That made me fall more in love with your marriage, and you knew that would happen!
3) Oh, so NOW you want privacy, so you can heal? What about MY healing process, huh?!

3. Bargaining

This is when you will do anything if only the couple will spare you the grief of separating. Guilt is often bargaining’s companion. The “if onlys” cause us to find fault in ourselves and what we think we could have done differently. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt. Common bargains attempted during this stage include:
1) I promise to never again read Star magazine or any other crappy publication that publishes nasty rumors about your marriage being on the rocks when it’s not. I’ll stick to Us Weekly! I promise!
2) I’ll buy your new album instead of downloading it for free! I’ll buy it twice, and I’ll make all my friends buy it too!
3) If Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner got back together, would you consider a reconciliation then? What about if Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake decided to start over?

4. Depression

Empty feelings present themselves, and grief enters on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined. This depressive stage feels as though it will last forever, when a loss fully settles in your soul. Common thoughts during this stage include:
1) I’ll never Tweet again.
2) What’s the point in even watching TV?
3) If they can’t make love work, then love is a fallacy and we should all give up trying.

5. Acceptance

Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being okay with what happened. This is not the case. You will probably never feel “okay” with this celebrity divorce. The same can be said if you’re going through a divorce yourself, it’s difficult and heartbreaking, but you’ve exhausted all other options and decided that it’s for the best. Going through divorce proceedings without an experienced professional, like a Chicago divorce lawyer can be particularly stressful, which is why many consider the services of divorce lawyers. This stage of acceptance is about accepting the reality that the celebrity marriage is over, and that this new reality is permanent. Common thoughts during this stage, as we learn to live with the divorce, include:
1) Perhaps their careers will now blossom separately. Heartbreak is good material, after all.
2) What celebrity marriage could possibly survive in the spotlight for that long?
3) At least we still have the Obamas. And the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise.

Still need comforting?
10 Reasons Why the First Marriage Rocks Our World

Is It Okay to Use a Vibrator That’s Bigger Than My Boyfriend?

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photo by Ryan McGuire

We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can’t answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.

Dear Em & Lo,

I’ve been with my boyfriend eight years, and sometimes we use toys. He’s about five to five and a half inches, and I would like to try something just a little bit bigger around — but he thinks it’s going to make me big down there. I don’t think it will . What do you think?

— Size Queen

Should Size Queen go large?
Share your advice in the comments below

Your Weekly Horoscopes: August 3rd, 2015

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aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
The chance of reuniting with someone from your past or getting together with someone at your work this week is, like, huge. Huge.

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
Here’s your problem: You’re such a wuss! Here’s your solution: Make the damn call already. You may be pleasantly surprised. And even if you’re not, at least you’ll know you weren’t a wuss for once. Wusses don’t get laid.

gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
You may be in the mood, but whomever you’re with will be looking for a commitment. Be sure you know what you’re doing. Don’t let your heart rule your head, or you may end up in a sticky situation.

cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)
If you can’t deliver on your promises, there’ll be red faces all around.

leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)
If you want to dish it, you have to be able to take it: no doing someone up the bum until you’re ready to be done up the bum yourself.

virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)
Concentrate on making money rather than on making sweet love. But when you think about it, what’s the difference?

libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)
Back in our younger, more impressionable days, after the two of us would write a particularly stellar edition of our column (if we do say so ourselves), we would get lots of nice letters from you. You would tell us that we’re charming, witty, gorgeous, underpaid, and destined for fame. And then we would hit the town like princesses and not understand why everyone else found our behavior “obnoxious” or “self-indulgent.” But nights like that were growing experiences, and essential for shining stars like us — everyone needs a little grounding sometimes. You’re going to have a few to grow on this week, too.

scorpio (Oct. 24th-Nov. 22nd)
You’re a little bit nuts. You’re into table-dancing, sky-diving, and eating cereal for dinner, you rebel you. You’re a little bit rock’n’roll, absolutely no country. So if you choose a partner who’s into Marie Osmond, it’s not really gonna work out.

sagittarius (Nov. 23rd-Dec. 21st)
That ultimatum you were given recently? They don’t mean it. Serious, they don’t have the balls/labes to back it up. Don’t be forced into a decision too soon just because you’re afraid of losing something good (like great sex or a summer beach house to call your own). Call their bluff and enjoy life without commitment for a few more weeks. Sure, you’ll put a few hearts through the blender in the process, but what do you care? You’re a Sag.

capricorn (Dec. 22nd-Jan. 20th)
Play hard to get. No whining, just do it.

aquarius (Jan. 21st-Feb. 18th)
You’ll have trouble getting to second or third base this week, so don’t waste your time. Work on yourself instead.

pisces (Feb. 19th-Mar. 20th)
All work and no play apparently makes you the sharpest tool in the sex shed this week.

How to Help Your Vagina Taste and Smell Better

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photo via Ryan McGuire

Dear Em & Lo,

My husband and I have been been sexually active with one another for five years. I’ve been smoking cigarettes for four years. I slowed down dramatically when I got pregnant in 2007 (from needing my own pack to two cigarettes a day or none at all). My husband didn’t know about my smoking while pregnant. (My daughter was born very healthy weighing 7lbs and 15oz and measuring 19 1/2 in.) After I gave birth to her I went back to needing my own pack and my diet changed to eating whatever I wanted. That’s when my husband slowed down with oral on me.

I am working on quitting cigarettes and I am proud of myself because I’m doing better than I did when I was prego. I’m watching what I’m eating, too. Now I can’t really remember what I smelled and tasted like when we first started dating. But I know he LOVED going down on me. I don’t smell bad and I don’t taste bad. But he’s not going down on me frequently anymore, so I KNOW my taste and smell is not the same.

I’ve been reading different things on the internet for the past two/three hours and everyone is saying the same thing. “Eat more fruit and vegetables.” I don’t need to be told to stop smoking because this I already know will affect my body in more than many ways. It’s been said to get pineapple juice, cranberry juice, and strawberries in your diet. And vegetables, too. Like asparagus. For one, I don’t know how to eat it. I HAVE tried it once in my cooking class back in high school and I didn’t like it. And I don’t know what other vegetables to eat. We eat baked beans, corn, mashed potatoes, and Caesar salad — I know these are not even really considered veggies.

I am also a little concerned with the decrease in self lube I am producing. Sometimes it’s good and sometimes I need more. We tried lube you buy from the store and we do not like it. I have a really good hunch that this also has something to do with what I’m putting in my body.

In general, I want to get my body to a more healthy state and get better benefits in the bedroom, too. Any advice or facts are greatly appreciated.

Mrs. Potato Head

Dear Mrs. P.,

It sounds like you already know what you have to do (at least for the most part). But sometimes it helps to have an objective third party confirm it. So here we go…

Infection: First of all, to be on the safe side, you should visit your gynecologist and get yourself checked out for any infections or STDs that might be affecting your vaginal taste/smell. Everything may feel just fine and dandy down there, but an infection could be secretly and subtly throwing things off.

Smoking: Quit now! (We know you know, but it bears repeating.) This is the single most important move you can make to help improve your health. We know it’s hard — harder than kicking heroin! — but you’ve got to do it. Nicotine restricts blood flow, which is essential to genital arousal. The chronic coughing you get from smoking can weaken your pelvic floor muscles, which can make penetration less enjoyable for both of you. In addition, smoking makes your whole body stink, stains your teeth, and gives you premature wrinkles — all things most people would consider decidedly unsexy. But beyond your own sex life, let’s thinks about your daughter: Hugging a parent who smokes is a total bummer. Plus, it’s a terrible example to set for her. Do whatever you have to to quit; check out the American Cancer Society for support and resources.

Diet: You reek what you eat. The most serious offenders are cigarettes, coffee, junk food, and drugs. And if you’re really serious about improving your taste down there, you could try cutting back on alcohol, spicy foods, processed foods, and red meat, too. (It’s anecdotal, but we’ve heard vegetarians taste better.) Undoubtedly, the stuff about fresh fruit and vegetables is true (except asparagus — that stuff will make your pee smell like wet cardboard!). Try kiwi, strawberries, and, most especially, pineapple — those certainly couldn’t hurt your personal flavor. (In addition, lots of green vegetables — broccoli, kale and collard greens, zucchini, leafy lettuce and not iceberg, etc — will help fend off age-related problems.) You could also see if cinnamon does anything for you. And make sure you’re drinking plenty of water — it helps flush your system and keeps you hydrated. And getting enough fiber in your diet will keep your poos firm, which means happier, cleaner exits, which means more confidence having your nooks and crannies explored. The foods you mentioned eating don’t have a lot of nutritional value: baked beans are full of sugar, fresh corn is okay but it isn’t really a nutritional powerhouse, mashed potatoes are all starch and butter, and Caesar salad is usually drenched in high fat dressing. Instead, try a veggie chili to get your bean-protein intake, sweet potatoes or yams which are way more vitamin-rich than regular potatoes, and do a natural balsamic vinaigrette dressing rather than something creamy. For more healthy eating ideas, check out EatingWell.com.

Lubrication: Smoking can reduce your estrogen levels which can reduce your lubrication. But there are many other factors which can impact how wet you get, even when you’re into the sex: medications, age, time of the month, douching (a no-no, even for smokers!), hormonal changes due to childbirth or breastfeeding. Also, if you’re self-conscious about your body (and the way it smells), that can inhibit arousal which can inhibit natural lubrication. Whatever the reason, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with adding a little man-made liquid to the mix. There are a TON of different kinds of lubes out there, so please don’t write the product off completely because you guys didn’t like one. Try an affordable sample pack from GoodVibes to see what works best for you two — when you find one you like, we think it’ll really improve things.

Exercise: We might as well cover it all! The good cardiovascular health, flexibility, endurance, positive body image, and natural endorphins you get from regular exercise may not affect your smell and taste, but you’ll certainly be able to enjoy sex more — you can get into different positions easily, go longer, leave the lights on, etc. And some say sweating regularly helps rid your body of toxins, which couldn’t hurt things downtown.

Communication: You should talk to your husband about why he’s not going downtown anymore. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Maybe he’s uncomfortable getting that up close and personal with what has now become a birth canal. You won’t know for sure until you talk about it. Just be gentle and non-confrontational — and ask that he give you the same respect before you start. Let him know about the lifestyle changes you’d like to make to improve your (sex) life and hopefully he’ll support you by cooking with you, eating the same healthy foods as you, distracting you when you feel the need for a cigarette, encouraging you not to give in to temptations, etc.

Now you definitely know what you need to do, so go out there and do it!

The Marlboro Man and Ronald McDonald can go fuck themselves,
Em & Lo

Toys You'll Love

1) Notice the Little Things

2) Notice the Big Things

3) Support Your Partner’s Passions

4) Compliment Your Partner

5) Date Your Partner

Want more appreciation tips? 10 Things to Say to Your Partner Instead of “I Love You”

So how do we really feel? Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Sons About Sex

Want more parenting tips? Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Daughters About Sex

Want more penis size talk? My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Want more hot horror? The Top 10 Sexiest Scary Movies

Ever gone online for help after a breakup? What Our Google Searches Tell Us About Our Exes

Want more general casual sex tips? Read: 6 Rules for Pre-Relationship Fuck Buddies

1. “You’re a human being, you live once and life is wonderful, so eat the damn red velvet cupcake.” — Emma Stone

5. “Young women, don’t worry so much about your weight. What makes you different or weird — that’s your strength.” — Meryl Streep

9. “The more I like me, the less I want to pretend to be other people.” — Jamie Lee Curtis

12. “You can’t really invest in your looks as the only thing because it’s a depreciating asset. It’s like putting money into a stock that’s going down.” — Rashida Jones

17. “Being called gorgeous is not a bad thing! But at the same time, I don’t want to thrive on people’s opinions of me.” — Lupita Nyong’o.

24. “If we’re regulating cigarettes and sex and cuss words because of the effect that it has on our younger generation, then why aren’t we regulating things like calling people ‘fat’?” — Jennifer Lawrence

Still turning the lights off when you’re naked? 10 Tips to Stop Hating Your Body Enough to Have Sex

1. Denial

2. Anger

3. Bargaining

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

Still need comforting? 10 Reasons Why the First Marriage Rocks Our World

Should Size Queen go large? Share your advice in the comments below

Want more appreciation tips?
10 Things to Say to Your Partner Instead of “I Love You”

So how do we really feel?
Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Sons About Sex

Want more parenting tips?
Top 10 Things We Will Tell Our Daughters About Sex

Want more penis size talk?
My New Boyfriend Has a Small Penis…At Least, It’s Small to Me

Want more hot horror?
The Top 10 Sexiest Scary Movies

Ever gone online for help after a breakup?
What Our Google Searches Tell Us About Our Exes

Want more general casual sex tips? Read:
6 Rules for Pre-Relationship Fuck Buddies

Still turning the lights off when you’re naked?
10 Tips to Stop Hating Your Body Enough to Have Sex

Still need comforting?
10 Reasons Why the First Marriage Rocks Our World

Should Size Queen go large?
Share your advice in the comments below